To All New At-Home with Schooling Parents/Caregivers: You are Amazing!

March 20, 2020 / RVSB / Leave a comment

Welcome to Friday of the first week of homeschool, online, virtual, or whatever new form of school you and your children just completed. This short blog piece is intended to congratulate and encourage you on your new journey as our American nation pulls together to minimize the impact of COVID-19 on those vulnerable in our population.

And, truly, I mean it when I say you’re amazing as this first week of alternative site schooling ends. We now have the rest of the school year to get through this “new normal”.

From a Homeschooling Veteran’s Perspective

When all this unprecedented school closures started occurring in my corner of the world here in south Florida, I felt the anxiety of all my friends and fellow parents/caregivers here and wanted to help with any weblinks or advice I could lend. Last week is now a fuzzy memory of what our normal lives were as this week is like we’ve all stepped through Alice’s Looking Glass to a new dimension with the same characters but the landscape feels so different and otherworldly.

As this first week unfolded, I was impressed by the creativity of various parents/caregivers with setting up their school spaces versus their work-from-home spaces. Some were able to carve out spaces from their living room or kitchen areas. Others adopted the notion that where each student was comfortable worked well even if it meant sitting on their bed or in a cozy reading nook.

Also, I would like to thank many other moms who inspired my own program by sharing ideas of how to help others like having students write notes to those who are stuck in nursing homes without visitors or encouraging cards for the medics who are on the front lines of dealing with those suffering from the severe effects of COVID-19.

Even though I’m a mother who’s been doing the home- and multi-schooling thing for several years, I can get into habitual ruts and found this past week to be invigorating when reading about other households and how they approached this new world of blending school and work into the domestic home front. The comic relief shared between family and friends has also been a priceless and necessary help for our collective mental health.

Author Unknown: Favorite Meme of this 1st Week

Yes, Learning Can Be Messy

At risk of offering more unsolicited advice, I feel the need to tell parents and caregivers to not be too hard on yourself when you look around at the “school” area in your home and realize it’s devolved into a messy affair. This may be mostly true for those who have elementary school and younger children in their midst. However, it can also occur for those who are older and perhaps are having the opportunity to create and experiment in ways they were unable to in the conventional school setting.

Again, you’re doing great and perhaps having a mess is a nice visual to help us all honor our school janitorial staffs even more. Another inspiration for me this week was how many parents/caregivers started giving their children “life lessons” right away in how to help clean up in the home itself. I will start applying some of those ideas in my own school area as I’m certainly not a good janitor.

As for the inevitable bickering that can occur between siblings, I’ve applied the same mantra to my own as maybe many of you have this week. I remind my students that whether it’s their brother or sister is irrelevant, the conflicts they practice with them will come back again with their friends, future romantic relationships, work mates, and so on. It helps to diffuse the current frivolity by presenting a vision of what the future holds for them one day. Conflict resolution is a constant life skill that we can help our students recognize today.

You Must Do What Works for Your Household

What’s truly new about this experience for many is that your children are now at home and not in the fold of the school building. They’re now in your building. The stress for everyone is at a level I’m not sure we can measure at this point. Many others like myself would like to take this moment to say that you must do what works for your household.

If that means Spring Break starts this week, then so be it. If that means your school meets on the living room couch, so be it. If that means you let all your elementary school-aged kids out into the backyard for a few hours a day instead of sitting at a desk, by all means so be it. If that means no screens, great but if it means screens everywhere then so it shall be.

If there is anything I can share in terms of advice from my perspective as a homeschooling mother, it’s that having students at home means being flexible and ready to change the lesson plan and schedule as quickly as our kids have their growth spurts and mood swings. We are receivers in a way and can only respond to help nurture and calm at times. The school curriculum can wait if a snuggle or a rest period is in order.

In short, you make the call on what works for your household and the students therein and no one is grading you but you. Please give yourself grace. Remember that not only does it feel like your home is in a state of chaos, outside at the regular grocery store we see a surreal sight daily:

Publix Supermarket in Palm Beach County, Florida – March 16, 2020

We’re All in This Together

School districts and the various private schools have spent this week scrambling together their efforts to rewrite and create a new path forward for how they will decimate your students’ curriculum for the rest of this 2019-2020 school year. We’ve all had to exercise patience under the most stressful of circumstances that our population has known, save that of the WWII generation.

In the meantime, it has been heartwarming to witness how parents and caregivers have pulled together to share ideas, information, and simply recognize what an incredible job school teachers and faculty have every day under normal circumstances. I appreciate the sharing of ideas through social media of how to help others, online school and learning ideas, and groups with chats online to help parents and teachers alike. Thank you all for what you’re doing to help not just those new to the homeschooling/virtual schooling arena, but also assisting us homeschool veterans.

In these abnormal circumstances, may we continue to remember that we’re all in this together.

It’s also more important than ever to share with each other if anyone is struggling and needs financial assistance, help with new ideas for homebound activities, and just commiserating with sharing photos of our respective cups of tea or glasses of wine to celebrate the end of each week:

Whether it’s water, coffee, tea, smoothie, a glass of wine, or G&T
-do celebrate the end of each week!

I cannot applaud everyone enough as you navigate what works for you and your household as you figure out what facilitates your children’s learning at home—especially for those of you who must also delicately balance having to work from home, still leave home for work, or in some cases having just lost your paying job.

Good strength to us all.

R.V.S.Bean

Some Random Links to Share:

http://www.marinelife.org

Another helpful article

https://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2010/12/12/stress-and-the-high-school-student/the-home-school-advantage

My Humble Reply to Miss Greta Thunberg: Who is Responsible for Climate Stewardship?

September 25, 2019September 25, 2019 / RVSB / 1 Comment

September 25, 2019

Quick Answer: Everyone. Literally, everyone on this planet. If we’re to scold anyone when it comes to how we humans have conducted ourselves in relationship to our Earth, then we’d have to do it toward ourselves and every household, nomadic tent city, unique compound, homeless camp or any other type of setup that we homo sapiens respectively keep our residence. Please make no mistake in understanding the state of our world’s climate; this planet will be able to continue with or without us. Truly, it’s a matter of what we’re comfortable with and able to accept based on our lifestyles as we know it here in the 21^st century.

Long Answer: The following is my succinct personal story in recent days of trying to love the Earth, fight for a new mindset on a bipartisan basis, and coming to raw terms of reality especially when it comes to environmental politics.

It’s been nearly a week since I traveled to Washington, D.C. for the second time this month. The first time was to attend the Bush-Cheney administration reunion held for those who served in various agencies and roles back during those years—it was surreal to be in the company with those whom, along with myself (I was a political appointee in Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson’s office), had given of our time and talents to serve an administration during what already has been documented as a historically poignant time in our country’s history. We were able to share an audience with former President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney as they reflected on those years and shared encouraging antidotes for the present time. I personally took a time-out after serving the administration to give birth to our first child, followed by a few more pregnancies that sum totaled in three wonderful children while also helping elderly in the home we’ve had the blessing to live in south Florida for the past decade.

My second D.C. visit came by way of invitation to attend the Environmental Defense Fund’s Fly-In last week and to take the opportunity to visit with offices of Florida’s congressional delegation to share my heartfelt inclinations about the importance of pursuing legislative goals of environmental solutions for our state as well as nationwide. Ironically, as I traversed Capitol Hill on foot last Thursday with a few of my like-minded colleagues, our U.S. Congress was also receiving the most recent public comments from Miss Greta Thunberg of Sweden. While I carried copies of my children’s illustrations and short comments about our stewardship of the Earth to my state’s various congressional offices, Miss Thunberg was testifying that our nation was doing little to nothing to help assuage the seemingly accelerating effects of our contribution to our planet’s climatic cycle. In the past couple days, Miss Thunberg also addressed the United Nations in New York City by repeatedly saying “how dare you” in regards to the idea that this global governing body entity looks to the youth for hope and yet fails in action.

Rewind to earlier this year: I took the time out to track our household’s trash habits for a couple of weeks. This included taking note of the packaging that we deal with when purchasing goods and how we dispose of those items as well as pre-existing goods in the home. The results of this personal audit almost sent me into a full-fledged depression swing similar to the post-partum blues I had experienced in varying degrees with each of my children born. It was embarrassing to recognize just how much waste we deal with in this home and although we try to diligently sort our trash into as much recycling as we can—then we’re faced with the dirty secret in most of our nation’s municipalities that much of our recycling isn’t actually recycled, rendering this conscientious ritual of sorting our garbage in the house a moot matter.

My personal trash inventory and revelation, along with a shared vision with friends, gave me the inspiration to seek more avenues to help effect change in my city and county in the interest of cleaning up our act when it came to household habits and waste processing. It also highlighted to me that it is a harsh reality to face our personal habits when it comes to how we travel, purchase and process goods, dispose of our trash, and use our resources like water and energy sources. It is this message I believe that needs to be conveyed to the world’s microphone so to speak. Although as a mother and educator I wholeheartedly support the notion of a 16-year-old having global attention when it comes to helping influence change in funding, legislation, and other environmental mandates needed to assist a “clean-up” of our habits, I dislike our collective avoidance of the real problem we face in terms of our interaction with our planet’s climatic cycles: ourselves.

There is so much more to write on this subject today, probably redundant in nature given how much has already been written and shared in digital spaces such as the Twitter social media platform. If there is anything I desire to share and encourage in this discussion regarding our climate stewardship going forward, it would be that the most effective course of action would be to cease finger-pointing to entities such as governing bodies and business corporations. If we have any hope of dramatically changing our habits, we must take personal responsibility and ask ourselves if we’re willing to re-think how we transport ourselves, purchase and utilize goods, sort our garbage, and overall make those hourly decisions to make a difference in our human footprint on Earth.

R.V.S.Bean

“We are given substance, nurtured, and sustained by family. Kinship goes beyond family and is the connection we feel to the world at large and everything in it. Given the concept of family, it isn’t difficult to understand the idea of kinship with other forms of life—everything was of the Earth. We all came from it one way or another and returned to it when life was over. These were the unalterable realities that connected us to everything around us.”–Joseph M. Marshall III, The Lakota Way

Some favorite sources:

www.edf.org

https://www.wsj.com/articles/saint-greta-spreads-the-climate-gospel-11568989306

www.marinelife.org

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/09/24/how-greta-thunbergs-rise-could-backfire-on-environmentalists.html

So You Didn’t SOTU? Try Short Afterthoughts

February 7, 2019February 7, 2019 / RVSB / Leave a comment

The State of the Union (SOTU) address isn’t everyone’s cup of entertainment tea. Especially during this time in our nation’s political climate where anyone who is elected President of the United States can fall under scrutiny of whether they belong in that role or should be impeached for some nefarious reason. I offer my short afterthoughts of the SOTU in case you were curious for a breakdown of what happened during this 2019 speech.

As I watched the address Tuesday night, I felt déjà vu wash over me relentlessly like the south Atlantic waves that break on the Florida beaches 10 minutes east of my home. There was a time I watched the SOTU only steps away from the Capitol building, securely at my work desk in a U.S. representative’s office— available for the boss if needed but simply enjoying being a political geek as a worker bee.

As the cameras panned over to the Democratic side of the House floor aisle, I was proud for a moment to see many white-clad women in their proud unity with each other—although it stung a little to see them apart from the Republican women. I wondered how much stronger we would be sitting together despite party affiliation differences? Why wear white by the way? I understand the historical entomology going back to the suffrage movement of last century, but sometimes a tradition should evolve with the present times. Couldn’t we pick another color to wear since “white” is taboo in our current social-political climate? Double-standards are the land mines of our political landscape today. Either way, we shouldn’t stop asking questions or trying to extend a hand to the “other side” of the political aisle. We have no one to blame but ourselves for erecting these barriers against working toward compromises merely based on whether a donkey or an elephant punctuates your political affiliation. Women are the village-minded ones who can change the tone from previous generations of male-dominated division tactics of politicking in our relatively young nation.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi: I reserve a moment of respect for her in spite of my philosophical differences with her. She’s Speaker of the House, again. Seeing her and President Donald Trump in the same frame together was an astonishing sight. These two individuals that command polarizing attention, diabolically different individuals in their shared age group, at this moment of history at the operating helm of our nation—the Titanic is a bath toy in comparison to this visual statement at the SOTU. Never mind the fact that you can search the internet and social media platforms for countless moments caught between President Trump and Speaker Pelosi that dripped of sarcasm in copious amounts. I can only imagine the amount of stress their respective staffs were under during the SOTU while watching their principals flex and flaunt their mighty titles and modus operandi.

I noted congresswoman Alexandria Oscasio-Cortez’s posture at one point in the SOTU, evidently taking a photogenic opportunity to pout about the President of the United States. Ah, yes, I recalled how I too was in my twenties once and felt so passionately that changes must be made in our society while still learning how everything works in the adult world. Rep. Oscasio-Cortez at once can be an inspiration for younger women who would like to make a positive difference and yet because of her lack of humility with respect to her inexperience, she can also be an awful example of how overzealous behavior can wreck a generation’s ability to effect real change. For example, although we can all agree that humans are part to blame for things like fossil fuel dependency and an obscene amount of garbage produced; to demand a complete stop of electrical grid usage of fossil fuels without a solid transition plan is pompous pandering to an electorate who are more concerned about how to make daily ends meet. (readers note: research “Green New Deal”)

Overall President Trump delivered a SOTU speech that was a verbal relief after his endless tweets and media sound bites that had barraged our nation’s collective consciousness in the weeks following the partial shutdown of the federal government. Utilizing more “we” than “I” seemed to be the end result, whether he feels that unity is possible is irrelevant. It still feels better to hear that type of connecting language—especially in a public forum like this where other countries are dissecting our Commander in Chief’s every sentence for clues in how to engage our governmental officials and citizens abroad.

There were many good human-interest stories at the SOTU. These too were unifying moments, times where both major parties could stand and clap. Again, nothing wrong with finding these short and sweet instances where we can blend into being proud to be an American—with the freedom to be ourselves and yet still celebrate the victories of ordinary citizens overcoming extraordinary circumstances.

I do wish the best for both the U.S. House and Senate Members of Congress this legislative session—especially the new members regardless of whether I agree with their platforms. It is a difficult but noble position to be a public servant in this capacity. Most citizens don’t know the details of the work involved for each elected legislator and their staff. We’re blessed to be in a country where our votes truly still matter if we all respectively engage actively in the process. It’s a good thing to see more cultural diversity in our U.S. Congress and to bring in more women, younger and older. This SOTU may have been a powderpuff event in wordplay but our nation deserves to have times like this where a message is delivered with more alignment in tone as we move forward. God bless us all. +

R.V.S.B.

The Dance of Differences

July 27, 2018July 27, 2018 / RVSB / Leave a comment

Seashell Philosophy by She: Volume 7 in a Series

Note: Been a while since I’ve written one of these because it takes getting a break by the seashore to get the inspiration for these pieces. Rare.

Summer 2018 Setting

The summertime weather here in south Florida is intense because we get the double whammy of high temperatures coupled with high humidity that can envelope us like a heavy wool coat but the difference being that it’s wet and nonstop with its intensity.

As I’ve been a mother for over a decade now, I’ve found that our best chance for survival outdoors when in town here is to head for the coast immediately after the sun rises to enjoy the ocean before the sand becomes lava-hot and the eventual afternoon thunderstorm squalls move in.

The Tide Retreating

When I arrived at the shoreline a couple days ago, my children found that the high tide had already crested and so the ocean would start its gradual retreat as we sojourned over the next few hours at the shoreline.

What’s exciting about this reversal of water flow is that one can get a glimpse of the shells, rocks and other small trinkets that the sea can give up any given day. There’s a thrill in watching the water retreat every few seconds while also yielding a new batch of goodies–the trick is to strike and pick up what you see and like before the next breaking wave takes it away.

Nature Reflecting Us

During a time in our nation when any given media outlet online or print is exposing all the negative shades of our current social or political status, it’s liberating to stand between the barrier of land and water and to feel the force of the inevitable coupled with the unexpected. “The unexpected” being anything and everything that our offshore Gulf Stream can depose on the receding shoreline. “The inevitable” being the waves, propelled by the currents, ushered by the moon tidal forces and so forth.

Here’s the good news: we’re all so different. There is no “black” and “white”. It turns out that there are countless textures, shapes, colors and differing weights to the shells and rocks I sifted through my fingers as the waves broke against my legs with my feet sinking into the shifting sand at the magical barrier where land and sea overlap. How comforting when nature reflects the truth about who we are: an amazing array of physical people with unique personalities!

What Is Our Place?

As I selected a variety of empty shells, sea glass and bits of rock I felt a rush of anger at the idea that our nation could ever fall into the trap of writing off sections of people based on their looks, pasts or perceived biases. Don’t we realize that what makes our world so beautiful are the differences that we all represent?

When we really take in the nature around us on Earth, it’s devastating to recognize how we’ve collectively cheated ourselves into thinking that we as humans are so caustic as to write off entire cultures, nations or people in general based on the color of our skin or our socio-economic backgrounds. What gives?

The Sorting of the Truth

Every time that I return from the Atlantic Ocean shore with a pocket or bag full of shells, rocks and other artifacts I immediately put the finds into a bucket full of water at home and have fun sorting them with my children—even alone if the kids aren’t interested.

Here’s what I’ve found over the decades of practicing this ritual: every fiber of my being senses that nature mimics life incarnate and so all these splendid varieties of physical representations of what has trespassed our ocean system soothes my frazzled nerves. The truth is that we all have more in common with each other than we realize despite our differences.

Go Out: Pick Up Some Rocks or Shells!

As dull as it may seem to some folks, would encourage anyone who lives by a body of water (even lakes and streams) to enjoy the simplicity found in picking up natural deposits like rocks, driftwood, shells and countless other things yielded by these various bodies of water.

It’s a therapeutic exercise in harvesting what’s available and plentiful but it’s also a great lesson in recognizing individuality. There’s an amazing diversity out there in our geology and yet it’s a strong reminder of how we as people are full of different facets and hues—just like the handful of granite and quartz pieces I was able to retrieve from the Atlantic earlier this week.

R.V.S.B.

A Writer’s Week Wrecked by Public Tragedies…or not?

June 9, 2018June 9, 2018 / RVSB / Leave a comment

The “It comes in Threes” began with a Spade

It all started with random comments made when I would check my Facebook feed sporadically earlier this week while juggling summer camp schedules and other countless domestic duties. After reading similar posts saying: “Kate Spade, so sad, RIP” I decided it was time to investigate further.

The news was everywhere and I felt sadness for a woman and her family whom I don’t know—truth be told, I would often see her purses in the department stores and thought them clever and cute but never bought one for myself.

Out of respect for the work she put it into her fashion line with the support of family and friends, however, I wish I had if only to take a moment to say “thank you” to her for coming up with a fun line of products that many people have come to enjoy and share with others through the years. We sometimes wish that we could have helped another person in pain after the fact right?

No Reservations, Parts Unknown and Clearly No Idea

Friday morning arrives with a foggy mindset as I had been doing my best not to read too much about depression and suicidal tendencies in the wake of Kate Spade’s personal tragedy made public and dissected by everyone who took the time to type, tap or dictate their view on the how, why and what to do to avoid more macabre news notifications.

Again the social media water cooler lit up with the news of yet another soul departed by their own devices. The setting was in France this time starring Anthony Bourdain: his buddy found him and then as I finally just pulled up one of the news websites like CNN it became real and now the tears started to burn. Bourdain found dead by apparent suicide and while on-site filming for a new season of his “Parts Unknown”. This particular show has been a way for me to vicariously live through his travels and be inspired to have courage in my culinary choices as I most recently tried Jamaican food in a local gas station–while the outside appearance of the establishment was unsavory, the food within is heavenly. (note: Mama D’s Calabash for my local readers in Palm Beach County)

At this point I stopped reading anything online or by way of smart phone except to dispatch some personal messages to some friends about it. When Friday afternoon rolled in, so did a fantastic thunderstorm outside our home here in south Florida with violent flashes of raw electricity and rattling thunder. I walked into our pantry and pulled out a fine red wine and paired it with some cheese from Switzerland (another inspiration from Bourdain, wine and cheese make great bedfellows all over the world). As I drank the wine slowly and savored the cheese, I lit a candle and watched the waterworks rage outside with life-wrestling drama.

Now the tears started to moisten my stoic and disciplined eyes. Simultaneously I felt mad and sad. There were waves of jealously coupled with tremors of righteous anger from feelings that injustice had been rampant this week with the public news of these suicides while there were probably many others in the world who died similarly this week but most of the social media users and cable news companies will never know about.

I didn’t cry as I prayed for Spade and Bourdain’s souls watching the storm continue outside our window, the lights flickering for a moment after a close bolt of lightning struck across the street. You see, I believe many people struggle with depression. Perhaps it could be argued that every human being on this Earth will have a depressive episode even if only once in their life. When these suicidal tragedies occur, there are some of us that feel relief that we dodged the proverbial bullet at least this time.

We can do the research, the therapy and the general public is capable of pontificating our views on the matter of depression and the links to suicide with or without scientific reasoning. Here’s what I know from experiences with depression in my lifetime: it doesn’t discriminate and the dark battles within us all can rival the best cinematic representation of fights, i.e. Lord of Rings or Game or Thrones visuals. It can be lonely and dangerous.

It’s positive that we’re having these discussions regarding depression and the afflictions that can result from it as uncomfortable as they can be at times. How we treat each other really does affect us. People are more connected than they realize and I don’t just mean through “friending” or “snapchatting” each other. We’re in a time of great social evolution but we can get stuck in the mud too easily with our emotional reactions to each other as we interact.

“Things That Matter”: Crying Now

While still letting the recent news of Bourdain’s simmer and reduce, I made the habitual swipe and tap to check social media only to see a note about a farewell letter from Charles Krauthammer. In the whirly dervish of the past several months of political and economics news cycle it was somehow lost on me that I hadn’t seen him in person during “talking head” shows.

As I read his letter aloud to my husband, http://www.foxnews.com/politics/interactive/2018/06/08/fox-news-charles-krauthammer-says-goodbye-to-colleagues-friends-and-viewers.html ,the tears started cascading and making it difficult for me to keep my voice calm as his words came alive in our living room. Thomas and I cut our teeth politically in Washington, D.C. together and we always enjoyed Krauthammer’s commentaries in print and in person. As moderates ourselves who believe in people over party, we found his discourse refreshing and hope its legacy continues.

My tears may have been partly for Charles having to suffer physically from such an illness but I suspect my heart also breaks for so many of us that find it difficult to find Peace in our respective lives while we still have healthy breaths to live. We can fall into the trap of hurting each other and ourselves when we lose the stillness and grace of Spirit in this world. Krauthamer loves chess and now sees his “checkmate” ahead and shares an uncommon candor in accepting his fate in the calm letter to the world about it.

Weekend Renewal

Like John Lennon once sung in “Believe” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRhq-yO1KN8, I do hope and believe in the idea that people can strive for peace within themselves as well as with each other to “be as one”. +

R.V.S.Bean

Socially Responsible Investing and Our iChildren, Androidkids or Cybernanny

January 9, 2018January 9, 2018 / RVSB / Leave a comment

A possible art piece in the future: sketch by Ramona

Welcome to 2018: a year where those who have the largest shares in big companies like Apple Inc. (AAPL) are in a position to exert their self-proclaimed moral responsibility to address the astonishing rate at which humans are interacting with the computer processors on their smartphones and similar devices.

The Premise

The article released this past Saturday, January 7th by the Wall Street Journal reports that there is currently a push by some large shareholders in Apple that are calling for the company to make changes to their systems to help parents exert more control and limit phone usage. If you haven’t read it already, I recommend it: https://www.wsj.com/articles/iphones-and-children-are-a-toxic-pair-say-two-big-apple-investors-1515358834

Personal Past

I personally have written for years on this subject about the possible negative effects on our children and their interaction with digital technology and social media. At the end of this piece I’ll provide links to my past blog articles for context and proof that although I’m not a medical doctor, my experience as a mother of three children has weathered me into the philosophy I have on this general subject today.

The Short and Painful Truths

We’ve all been guinea pigs since our computers made the leap from the Oregon Trail game in green on the screen to the Internet on PCs to the smartphone on some of your wrists.

Somewhere along the way parents everywhere forgot that babies and children watch their caregivers and strive to copy them relentlessly. So while parents obsess over how many “likes” they’ve racked to their recent Facebook post or are scrolling through Pinterest ideas for dinner that night, their young are taking that in as normal behavior even when they are vying for their parents’ attention in the process. Even more alarming is that many parents may spend more time trying to “capture the moment” in forms of photo bursts, videos and vines than actual quality time conversing or participating in activities with their children.

I refuse to personally judge anyone in this area as I’ve made my own mistakes regarding this new frontier of instant messaging and phone calls at a touchscreen’s length. Instead I’m comfortable sharing my own personal journey as a way of giving some ideas to parents and caregivers that perhaps they can weave into their way of life — in turn helping the next generation have an idea as to how to navigate their own progeny in tandem with our technological advances yet to come.

Parents: Put It Away

This is a blunt heading and intentionally so. This is not easy and perhaps quite impossible for many people depending on their line of work. Thankfully there is the “vibrate” setting for most devices and which I use constantly.

Before you dismiss this idea entirely, do yourself a favor and think about how much time you actually interface personally on a daily basis with your child or children. The answers will vary depending on vocation and age of the children of course but the effect should warrant an honest assessment.

Here’s what I’ve learned in just under 10 years of being a mother myself to three children under the age of 10: they grow up quickly and learn even faster!

If you make it a point to interact with your child without the smartphone attached to the palm of your hand it will help them bond not only with you but also know how to engage with other humans.

The questions will come and with them your respective answers as it goes with the majority of parental interactions with their young — in my case, my older children have inquired as to why they don’t have phones. My responses to these repetitive questions are simple and hopeful. For example, I let them know that their father and I don’t see a need for it nor is it allocated for in our family budget. In addition, we believe they will have them one day in an even better model and aren’t missing anything in the meantime.

While investors are suggesting to companies about how their technology can be manipulated to help give parents control the reality is that the control is with the parents themselves all along.

People, Artificial Intelligence and Beyond

Guess what? We’re still all test subjects together as we progress in this whole new world of cyber-digital interactions and integrations with homo sapiens.

We’re talking about parental controls available on the iPhone platform and before we know it we’ll be reading psychologists’ research papers on the emotional integration of robot-nannies on our grandchildren one day.

To be sure we’re excelling in incorporating these new devices into our lives so quickly without knowing its effects until we become aware of the effects. Although we focus mostly on negative consequences, we should be fair and acknowledge where the technology has been very helpful for parents and kids alike. For example, I recall a scratchy long distance land-line phone call to Greece with my great-grandparents whom I could hardly hear — our kids get to Facetime with their grandparents in California.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and need to read something that will assuage the fear of the unknown I reccommend “Abundance” by Peter H. Diamandis. It’s a helpful book with opening our mind to the possibilities of the good things that can come out of our digital evolution together.

Global Village Is Not the Front Line

Ever since the release of the World Wide Web late last century, the world has shrunk down to what is commonly referred to as the “global village”.

This shouldn’t be confused with the world that our children know when they are born and growing up in our homes. We as parents and caregivers are still their front line in seeing and interpreting the world around them.

In the end the moral responsibility still falls on us individually to make parenting decisions that we feel are right for our own offspring.

Blessings to all you out there raising children in the 21st century and beyond!

R.V.S.B.

P.S. As promised, past blog links of mine concerning children and cyberworld:

I Spy the i-Generation…Momm-i, Dadd-i?
What Can I do? If you’re a parent, please read this now or when you have a moment, “The Touch-Screen Generation” by…ceoofthehome.net

A Poem Short: “Toddler Time Twice”
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Ragnar Relay Reduction: Melbourne to South Beach, Florida

November 17, 2017November 17, 2017 / RVSB / Leave a comment

Pardon me as this is another one of my philosophical reflections after completing a Ragnar Relay Race—technically the third I’ve participated in and the second one I completed with a majority of my University of Florida track and cross-country teammates and friends.

The Muscle Hangover

A few days have passed since I participated in the 2017 Ragnar Relay South Beach Race. For those not familiar with this racing series, it involves teams of 6 or 12 people splitting the mileage of a major distance like the 200+ miles my team known as “In It To Win It Dos” just finished by starting in Melbourne, Florida and finishing in Miami’s South Beach.

Although it’s a relay with the mileage broken up, it still means that each individual runner has a substantial amount of mileage in three different parts. Post-Ragnar racers usually have the same hobble-waddle-like walk in the days shortly afterwards.

Our team took over 26 hours to finish this running challenge and those hours are spent in close quarters with folks in a van and involve trying to refresh and refuel one’s body several times without the luxury of space or time. In short, it’s a bit grueling and perhaps masochistic—but for someone with an athletic background, it’s familiar and in a weird way comforting to be able to still participate in something like this with others.

Another Sort of Family

We’ve heard of family by blood and family by Spirit (especially in religious traditions). I now propose that there is definitely another sort of sister-brotherhood to be found in having been on an athletic team with others through high school and/or college. Like anything where you spend an extended amount of time with others in close quarters and under physically stressful circumstances you’re bound to be bonded for life.

For our 2017 team “In It To Win It Dos”, we were a mixture of University of Florida teammates and high school competitors as well as an additional respectable athlete in her own right who had agreed to join us for this crazy ride of a race. Seeing each other again was a balm to the spirit and even if there was awkwardness it was only because it had been so long since we’d been in each other’s presence.

If you think about it for a moment, after you’ve known a certain set of folks for twenty years or more, there are many life moments that are traversed: Marriages, births, miscarriages, divorces, deaths of loved ones, military service, regret over not serving in the military, Olympic aspirations strived for and perhaps not reached, disappointments, victories and unexpected surprises both positive and negative. Catching up in during the in-between moments of the competition allowed us to share what we’ve experienced and learned thus far in our respective lives.

The Actual Race

In our particular team with twelve participants, it meant that we split into two vans each of six people to tackle the 200 plus miles of this Ragnar Relay South Beach. Thankfully we had planned ahead and had matching tank tops that exploited our team’s name and gator logo. We had fun with our name monikers and also numbered respectively our tops in the order we would run the legs. Other teams would “tag” other vans with magnetic names or mottos for fun–the racing atmosphere joined all racers in a funny if not friendly camaraderie.

For a race set in mostly south Florida, it was impressive how many different weather patterns we encountered as each of the twelve team members were responsible for running three legs respectively: with various running legs going over intercoastal bridges, we had a number of runners dealing with gale force winds and rain, roads during the night with little light and lots of animal noises or whiffs of swamp gas.

Personally, my second leg involved a post-midnight 8+ mile run through my own familiar city ground but was quickly humbled when I took a fall so hard that I felt my neck and spine rattle as my left shoulder thankfully took the brunt (my face was about to take it all, thank God I was able to twist in time). Was blessed with the presence of an Army soldier as a running mate during this particular leg and he was standing over me asking “Are you okay, that was quite the face plant fall!” All I asked was that he “please pick me up”. He did and we were on our way toward the exchange point.

We had runners who encountered confusing road signs, muscle fatigue and unforeseen events. For a moment in time, we took a break from our respective work, our children, our spouses, our co-parents, and our general life routines just to participate with each other in a fabricated competition against nothing but ourselves really—and in some ways it can seem absurd, but it also was an awesome exercise to have with each other in how life can unfold.

Logistical Nightmares

Some of us on this team had run in these Ragnar Relay races before and so had a pre-conceived notion of how these things should go from a logistics standpoint. This specific race course was on its inaugural run so we were unknowingly the guinea pigs as it unfolded.

Isn’t that life though? Don’t we encounter systems in place that are supposed to take care of us but we’re disillusioned by at times?

Being with my teammates and navigating the snags along the way with the different challenges that presented themselves was also a great exercise on how to pool resources between our skill sets and know-how on the fly. It reminded me of the sort of government or corporate retreats where they organize workshops to help teams or groups of people tackle problems in a cohesive and effective manner.

That being said, Ragnar Relays may have to take note that they’ll receive a large amount of feedback concerning the South Beach race in weeks to come.

Crossing the Line

There is an anti-climax to the end of things–like after you receive a diploma, finish a certificate program, give birth and so forth. It’s the same after a long race like this where for hours we’ve been using our mental and physical energies in a heightened mode to achieve a great completion.

“In It To Win It Dos” didn’t win like we had hoped, there was even raw frustration about losing to a team we’ve faced before by only seconds. We still gathered to run through the finish line for our photo shoot (I apologize publicly for being absent during that particular “finish line run” as the race had taken its toll on me and I was appreciating a non-porto-potty bathroom situation nearby).

Nevertheless, we were all reunited for our final photo together afterwards in the finish area on South Beach and deserve to feel proud that despite our places in life that we could pull together and achieve a great physical and mental accomplishment!

Until next time…

R.V.S.B.

Why Wonder Woman Works

June 22, 2017June 23, 2017 / RVSB / Leave a comment

Why Wonder Woman Works: An Orthodox Christian Perspective Short

Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t watched this film out in the theatres yet, I would caution you to bookmark this page and come back after you’ve had the opportunity to watch it.

Self-Professed Skeptic

I will readily admit that when I first heard about this film coming out that I initially balked at the idea of watching it. Personally I’m not into DC or Marvel Comics in general when they’ve been put on the big screen. The idea of taking a fantasy story from 2-D paper and throwing it into a non-stop series of amped-up translations in the movie theatres for the masses to consume in order to escape the perceived monotony of their daily existence is not appealing.

Although I love the idea of strong women being portrayed in a physical manner, I prefer something that is more tangible than merely through digital special effects.

Introduction of the Audience

What finally intrigued me enough to watch this film was a result of reading a commentary article shortly after the film’s premiere by Meredith Woerner of the Los Angeles Times entitled “Why I Cried Through the Fight Scenes in ‘Wonder Woman’.” Woerner brought up the fact that there have been countless super hero films starring men and that “Wonder Woman” has captured that female power that has been missing to complement all the Batmans, Ironmans and Supermans of the past several decades. Her comments also caught my attention because personally the idea of a power chick kicking butt in a battle scene didn’t conjure visions of me weeping. Perhaps this film was worth a try after all.

I recommend reading Ms. Woerner’s piece if you haven’t already: http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/herocomplex/la-et-hc-wonder-woman-crying-20170605-htmlstory.html

Quick Background on Your Blogging Author

I am a first-generation Greek-American woman that has experienced first-hand many times over what it is to be a strong woman that has run into certain “complications”. My mother herself became a mother as a young teenager with me as her first-born. I witnessed many years of abuse inflicted on her and my mother’s eventual escape from a destructive marriage to the transforming and victorious journey of raising her three children alone as a single mother.

For myself as a busy student-athlete and teenager, it was a routine interaction for me with guys when I let them know that I couldn’t give them what they wanted—whether it was holding hands or having a date solo with me (aka no chaperones present or nearby). In fact, by the time I married my husband in the year 2000, I was still a virgin—at least until we completed our vows at the wedding ceremony, all bets were off afterwards of course!

Wonder Woman: The Setting

This movie opens right away showing the amazing strength and flexibility of women on the mythical and hidden island of the Amazonians. If I had a favorite scene in this film it would definitely be the one that shows all the different women in their training with the young Wonder Woman (Diana) watching and mimicking in the background with fervor. I emphasize here that it was also liberating to see all sorts of body types and every woman in her own right truly beautiful in appearance and countenance.

The queen of the Amazonians is the mother of Diana and has taken care to protect her daughter from the reality of her destiny (again, spoiler alert): She was in fact a daughter of the Greek god Zeus and was created to have the ability to destroy the “fallen” god Ares (God of War). She was actually the “god-killer”, not the sword, nor the shield and such that were hidden in a tower on the paradise-like island. The details of this prophecy will all fall into place as the film’s story unfolds.

Female Power: A Possible Women’s Manifesto Reflected in “Wonder Woman” Opening Romantic Scenes

It turns out that little Diana was instilled with a strong belief system by her mother that involved her being part of being against Ares: god of war. The fighting spirit was inherent in her and although her mother wanted to protect her from this she eventually admitted that it was appropriate for Diana to learn how to defend herself.

Also, she was raised with a fully classical education that included books that detailed the various positions for sexual pleasure that finally concluded that although men were required for procreation, they were not needed for ultimate satisfaction.

In the film, the above information that Diana shares with the Chris Pine character known as Steve Trevor flabbergasts him. He is visually disturbed at this notion and refuses to believe it, in turn Diana literally turns away from him in their sleeping nook on the boat and does not follow the stereotypical habit of a woman deferring to the man’s opinion because he can’t change his mind on a matter. (Note: What I would refer to as the poor peacemaker complex that many women can possess.)

Further, what would have typically been a romantic scene ending with the cliché sexual intercourse finale with the hero and heroine lying beside each other on the boat ride out of the vicinity of Diana’s mythical world turned out to be a muted and sobering anticlimax. Not lost, however, was the comedic innocence of Diana asking Steve why they couldn’t sleep side by side for the moment without being married—again, turning upside-down the notion that when a man and a woman sleep in the same space they must end up having sex together.

NOTE: I must be quick to add that although I’ve noted the sexual life of women in regards to Wonder Woman and my own personal experience, it was NOT meant to say that being one way or another in relationships takes away from women’s strength. If anything, my focus would be to say that a woman’s strength remains in her ability to control how and with whom she shares her intimacies with (as goes with men). Again, reflecting at history with rape/war and even today with the atrocities of female genital mutilation, there remains work to be done.

Balance Appears: Why Women and Men Do Need Each Other

I firmly believe that this film had the potential to turn off many people had it been too pro-woman. Inherently we all crave balance and as liberating as it is to focus on women’s respective abilities to kick butt in life, there is a peaceful rhythm when we find the feminine and masculine in harmony with the challenges we can face in our society.

This subtle but poignant undercurrent in “Wonder Woman” also made it palatable for my taste. It is pro-woman but not exclusively pro-feminine excluding the role of the masculine. In fact, I would argue that Chris Pine’s character Steve actually assists in Diana’s progressive strengthening as the Wonder Woman who takes on No Man’s Land unapologetically and with full disregard as to whether or not the men intend to support her.

Diana is driven by passion for what is good and this includes the ancient desire and urge in all of us to see any good conquer evil in the end. But by the end of this film we become very aware that Diana has matured in her overall intentions and truly what fuels her strength to fight evil is her ability to exhibit unconditional love.

Understandably the Steve Trevor character has his own drive as an undercover spy for the Allies that are fighting the Enemies in the WWI setting. In his case he is driven to fight for the greater good even if that means sacrificing himself in the process. When he watches the Amazonian women fighting and essentially defeating the invading forces on their island he immediately gains respect for them if not a bit frightened by the fact that he is far inferior to their abilities and tools.

Steve Trevor doesn’t put Diana down for her beliefs and although he challenges her by telling her about the “social norms” of the time including the fact that women are not seen in a war room discussion or cannot carry weapons, he ends up allowing her to be herself and has respect for her.

Diversity and Breaking Down of Historic Ignorance

If I took a moment to reflect on our current society today I would have to say that the first problem I’m aware of immediately is the lack of understanding by everyone about how really diverse we really are as people here on Earth.

Namely, to attach mere colors of “black” or “white” is awful and downright backwards. At the same time, our collective ability to avoid the gritty reality that the idea and the occurrence of slavery has been a terrible disease running through humans throughout history since the beginning of our time here and through to right now in 2017 (think underage sex trade, extremist cultures, cheap produce farm-picking or any combination) is akin to the apathy of many Americans when it comes to participating in politics and the way our government is run.

For myself the endearing and softening quality in this Wonder Woman film was the motley crew of characters that end up joining Wonder Woman and Steve Trevor to find Ares include a native American descendant (who evidently does random business transactions like shuttling people across dangerous battle lines) and a Turkish man with many amorous talents and wanderlust.

The End…and yet what’s always been and will be…in the end Love will conquer all

This blog has given away enough of this film so I will leave my conclusion simple by declaring my approval of the standard story-closing that the “underdog” good wins out over the evil standard-bearer.

Wonder Woman is moved by at least three distinctive moments that reflect awesome sacrifice, unconditional love and a compelling sense of mercy.

One is watching the aforementioned motley crew coming together in an almost prayerful moment, as it seems imminent destruction is upon them.

The other of course is watching Steve Trevor take up the plane with the deadly gas up into the atmosphere so that the hydrogen component blows it up but away from any innocent collateral damage—sacrificing himself in the process. Intertwined in this is the personal realization that Diana has that Steve had told her when her ears were ringing that he would be happy to have her “save the world” but it was his time to “save the day” with this action. Funny enough, the pain of the realization doesn’t “break” her as would be the stereotypical thought process. Instead it fuels her, ignites her godliness to become stronger than before.

The third moment, albeit muted and a bit lame, was when Diana looked upon the Dr. Poison character as she thought Wonder Woman was about to destroy her. She had mercy on her, plain and simple. This didn’t disturb me in the least because again it reflected the power of unconditional Love and how although many could argue that Dr. Poison didn’t deserve this mercy or grace–it has often been the type of moment that truly transforms someone. Love really can change the Universe.

Applause

This film is worth it. Understandably if schedule and price are not compatible at this time, I’m happy to endorse watching this even on your tablet streaming or a red box DVD rental later.

Kudos to all involved in the script writing, directing, acting, supporting and et cetera with this Wonder Woman film, may it be an example for a future movies in this genre.

In the end, these are the type of films that our society may need more of these days with all the political, religious and racial unrest within countless people around the world –especially those connected via the internet world.

A hopeful and resolute story line that we do have the ability to break out of these contrived barriers against triumph of good over evil that we’ve enslaved ourselves with for centuries.

R.V.S.B.

P.S. Afterthought for anyone who utilizes the Christian Bible scriptures in their life philosophies:

Taking a walk down Christian scriptures for a moment, I believe the most misquoted verse is in the New Testament of the Bible, Ephesians 5:22, where it reads “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…” As it goes on for a couple verses, we’ve also endured two millennia where that has given Christian men (and otherwise) license to step on and put down women of faith. What is often overlooked or forgotten is that it goes further in Ephesians to say “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.”

In essence, there is no way that a man can harm a woman if he truly loves her as he loves his own body. How changed would our world today be if this was an attitude put into place immediately? +

Goodbye and Good Riddance Bill O’Reilly, Hello and About Time Tucker Carlson

April 21, 2017April 21, 2017 / RVSB / Leave a comment

Note: Haven’t posted anything new to my blog in recent months because like most generation X folks I’ve been too busy living life to take pause and reflect or react in this cyberspace format…until news yesterday hit that Bill O’Reilly lost his job at FOX News.

Breaking News

It was via text that I heard from my husband that “Bill O’Reilly out. Tucker to take his time slot.” My first reaction was indifference and then I just sat back while waiting at a red light in traffic thinking about how long I’d been watching the O’Reilly Factor.

I got married in 2000 and had just left my Palm Beach County for a new life season in Chicagoland only to watch footage of my hometown plastered all over cable news because of the Presidential election results that were contested between George W. Bush and Al Gore, et cetera. It would be the following year that the unthinkable would occur with the attacks of 9/11. O’Reilly was not the end all for me but became staple of sorts in my political news diet through the years, especially as I came to work in the federal government for a number of years.

The Old and the Really New are Moot

I’ve always respected the older generations. Perhaps it was my upbringing or how I was taught to do so by my teachers during my academic career.

Here’s what strikes me about this O’Reilly phase coming to a halt: the Baby Boomer generation is starting to hit a few walls and I’m afraid there’s not going to be a lot of pity generated by the generation X folks. It turns out that most folks in their 30s and 40s have been working non-stop since the Enron company scandal and the 90s Dot.com tech bubble burst, followed by 9/11 and then the recession and housing bubble burst to boot. By the way, this means working jobs that weren’t necessarily part of our plan–for example, after 9/11 there were hiring freeze policies set in place in many companies for a while.

Now we have the millennial generation and surrounding youth who are beginning to get their feet wet in the working world and can risk feeling slighted or entitled in their attitude which tests the patience of generation X people who have already had to serve the complaints and demands of many in the Baby Boom population above them that hardly noticed or valued Xers. Let me pause here to emphasize that these stereotypes that I’m describing do not reflect everyone in these age groups but there is tension that is real between many because of these overall inclinations.

It became apparent and accepted that in the cable news world, most of the respected or “powerful” opinion megaphones were older than the generation X group.

Until now. Tucker Carlson offers a no-nonsense and practical approach to interviewing guests while also retaining the dry humor that is reflective of a generation that has become skeptical of the political and journalism culture in this country–not to mention other big issues in our nation like the job culture and our economy.

Stay True Tucker: Bow Tie Optional

Personally I have enjoyed watching other cable news channel talking head personalities over the years even if I don’t agree with their views–if at least they give different opinions a chance to be aired and have respect for those they interview.

I’m grateful that Tucker already has demonstrated on FOX’s Tucker Carlson Tonight that he can bring on all sorts of people with different viewpoints (not just conservative) and also engage with them in a lively but disciplined exchange.

My hope is that he can retain his unique style of interviewing and moderate his personal reactions on political matters. The growth of bipartisan cooperation in this nation will be able to grow if we can generate more open conversations on all the hot topics that fuel social discourse on social media platforms and elsewhere.

R.V.S.B.

#TuckerCarlson

Trump Trumps: President-Elect Donald J. Trump on November 9, 2016.

November 9, 2016November 9, 2016 / RVSB / Leave a comment

Congratulations!

It’s real. We the People of the United States of America now realize that we really don’t know what we stand for: Democrat, Republican or otherwise.

I recall the 2016 Republican primary for POTUS earlier this year in March. The incredible number of men and one woman running for the big-ticket. I remember a populist voice. It was “the Donald.” It was the “You’re fired” guy. This was the man who none of the political elites dared to give credit or respect to listen to, let alone conceive that he could actually be the nominee of the “Grand Ole Party.”

Then there was the Democratic primary…Hillary Clinton POTUS ticket redux (sorry ma’am, your best chance was 2008) and a few token piece gentlemen, although Bernie Sanders does get points for rousing at least the low-attention span of the millennial base. They had crowned their queen before the Democratic Convention…but we’re not a monarchy.

So here we are…the Republican party is burning yet standing (given the congressional polling numbers coming in House and Senate), the Democratic party is nursing the wounds of the “pendulum swing” that can occur after any two term President of the United States.

I may be a mother-wife-homemaker without a W-2 form or newspaper column tenure, homeschooler, part-time caretaker of 90-year-old grandparents but I can see and call what is happening. Our country is at a reckoning point and it’s a blessed thing–no doubt painful to be clear.

I love Democrats and Republicans alike (even in if I align myself as a conservative Republican woman)…we as a nation need to take a time-out and recognize that we are stronger together. Please, if you’re aligned with Secretary Hillary Clinton, don’t despair! The United States of America will go on without an overly liberal agenda or a Bush era-heavy influence. Populism is the name of the game. Go USA!

I believe President-elect Donald J. Trump will do his best along with his transition team to put America first. That includes the work of sitting President Obama and former Secretary Hillary Clinton and all the former Presidents of the U.S. still living with us.

God bless America. I pray for us already and will continue to do so. We need to stick together no matter who is POTUS. I respected President Obama even if I don’t agree with all his policies and ideas for the last eight years. I encourage those opposed to “the Donald” to do the same.

We are America. Unless you want to go to another country, please let’s just stick together and find what our common ground is–I never thought that the 2 party system was the answer in the end. It’s 2016, perhaps it’s time to reconsider.

God and Universe Bless,

R.V.S.Bean

CEO of the Home

Delivering robust profit margins since 2008…

Personal Philosophy

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Ragnar Relay Reduction: Melbourne to South Beach, Florida

Why Wonder Woman Works: An Orthodox Christian Perspective Short

***Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t watched this film out in the theatres yet, I would caution you to bookmark this page and come back after you’ve had the opportunity to watch it.***

P.S. Afterthought for anyone who utilizes the Christian Bible scriptures in their life philosophies:

In essence, there is no way that a man can harm a woman if he truly loves her as he loves his own body. How changed would our world today be if this was an attitude put into place immediately? +

Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t watched this film out in the theatres yet, I would caution you to bookmark this page and come back after you’ve had the opportunity to watch it.