Personal Philosophy

Photo Holiday Greeting Cards: Why Do We Still Send Them? Why Don’t I?

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January 1, 2024

The Christmas Present

It’s a beautiful Monday morning here in south Florida, first day of the new year and already I feel behind at the sight of my writing desk.  The reason? Both unanswered and embarrassingly, in some cases, unopened holiday cards and letters that have been sent to our household in the past several weeks.

They began to slowly appear the week after Thanksgiving. That should have been my sign to organize myself and make sure to upload some family photos at my local photo goods shop or even try the online services like Snapfish. 

Instead, I bought a couple of boxes of Christmas cards as an afterthought one day, pledging mentally that I would just answer each card greeting with a handwritten response as it came to our home as a personal touch. The weeks sped on into December, no responses sent.

There was a lull in mail activity in the second week of December followed by an onslaught of postcards and decorative envelopes. The week of Christmas itself had a sloshing sort of mail arrival volume on a daily basis making me dizzy at the thought of how many folks seemed to have it together for the holidays and yet I hadn’t been able to really write down one word cohesively in a Christmas or holiday greeting card.

Perhaps this is the part in the story that I should have made my way to our CVS Pharmacy store and sat myself down at the photo kiosk to put together a simple greeting card and prepare to seal and stamp countless cards the very next day before we left town for a family Christmas getaway.  

Again, I deviated from a logical and less stressful course and instead bought a few boxes of “Happy New Year” cards—my caustic mind thought that these overachieving acquaintances and friends were just going to have to accept a belated personal response wishing them well for 2024.

For those reading who know me personally, please forgive me that you may actually receive one of these aforementioned “Happy New Year” cards this very week prior to the feast of Epiphany.  Further, please truly forgive me if you never do.  

The oddest part about this present holiday writing behavior of mine is that if you do know me, I’m verbose during the rest of the year in the snail mail department.  I keep track of my letters and care packages on a weekly basis and I average at least 8 – 10 items each week throughout the year—excluding the deployment of postcards to family and friends when I travel on road trips or work my summers in Wyoming.

The Christmas Past

Let me dial back a bit to explain for proper context and some revelation for why I’m sarcastic and a little bitter about this ritual of photo card and letter swapping for the holidays. 

It used to be I always sent out a photo card of sorts and printed letter (sometimes hand-written for certain chosen recipients). In 2000 I got married and kept subscribing to this holiday correspondence for nearly two decades.

Sometime before the COVID-19 pandemic date marker of 2020, life for our household had become hectic with the understandable challenges of raising three children, living in a multi-generational home, and sustaining recent death in home hospice care of a beloved elderly family member, Grandma Marjorie Bean, who had lived with us and weathered years of dementia prior to her departure.  Additionally, I went back to school with the start of my MBA degree at University of Florida.

Basically, something had to give out with the mounting responsibilities here at home and so the stress and mess of getting a holiday card/letter greeting out to family, friends and co-workers took the proverbial “kick to the curb”.

The other factor I believe is indifference and a sense of redundancy that has overcome me in recent years.  

At least for those family members and friends who were on my social media outlets—in my personal case, primarily Facebook—I had noticed that most everyone was sharing photos and updates on their family lives throughout the year. In our case, we do not post our children’s photos online if we can help it as our choice until they are at age of consent for themselves.

Still, by the time the holiday season came around post-Thanksgiving, I felt we’d already been kept posted on the lives of others and so didn’t feel the urgency to know how people were doing or to go through the trouble of updating everyone.   

My holiday mail correspondence became one of a short list of must-send-outs with personal handwritten greetings and then responding to anyone else’s mail that came in with another personalized response.  Care packages continued as in years prior but now I didn’t toss in a mass copied photo card, I would print out individual photos and stick them into cards to those who hadn’t seen us all year.

Fast-forward to now and 2023 brought us another passing of a family member in our home during late September.  The patriarch of our family, Dr. William J. Bean, had a slow decline in health with months of hospice care at the house before passing at the age of 97.  

By the time the end of the year had come, my ability to write had become nearly obsolete by my standards because of pure fatigue. Hardly any cards left this house for the holiday season, even some care packages to family and friends lacked them. 

The Christmas Future

So why do people still send them? Why don’t I? 

These two questions have been cycling in my mind for weeks now and came to a chaotic and heartbreaking crescendo last week.

A few days after Christmas day I was informed of tragic news while working in the house with family members cleaning and decluttering in preparation for the upcoming new year.  

It was the type of news that shatters the normal clattering of life on a random weekday afternoon and pierces your spirit in the ethereal gut at the realization that someone you know left this Earthen plane much too soon.

After reviewing and putting my phone away, I stumbled over to sit at my writing desk to digest the news.  My mind whirled to clearly remember the last time I spoke with her a few weeks ago and had the vague recollection that I had received something from her in the mail. My hands fumbled through the paper stack mess on my desk to find her Christmas card. I found it within seconds and just looked at it as if it were for the first time.

Simple greetings were in the text with a cursive font appropriate for the season and a collage of beautiful photos of their family.  Pure bliss in all their eyes, photos picked just for this occasion to share with family and friends their joy in life and although so busy with all the things that a growing family has going on—her photo card was a way of saying something like, “hey, we’re super busy with wonderful things as you can see, but we care about you and hope you have a beautiful holiday season-xoxo”.

My eyes welled up to the blurriest degree as I pinned up her card on the wall next to my writing desk where I keep a running list of prayer petitions.  Her loved ones were now left with countless photos like these in her sudden absence. May her memory be eternal.+

In the days since, I’ve been going around my home and rummaging through my vehicle to locate every last holiday card and letter.  At the same time, I’ve been mentally drafting what I should or could write in a short amount of time to make up for another lost holiday correspondence effort this past season.

More effectively, regardless of who I’m able to reach in the next couple of weeks, I’m making a resolution to attempt in 2024 the Christmas et al list to share with those who still enjoy sharing their lives with us in this way. Just about 11 months to go at this rate for planning purposes right?

I guess I had become a “scrooge” of sorts in this realm of recent traditions, but after some revelations in the past few years including last week’s news, I admit that there is a net positive to engaging with others this way—especially when life’s circumstances or distances far apart keep us from seeing loved ones as often as we’d like while we’re here.

Blessed New Year to us all.

R.V.S.B.

The Everglades Agricultural Area: Where, Why and How?

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For those of you who may not know me personally, I’m passionate about the outside world and limit my time in the digital spaces like the newly marketed “metaverse”.  When teaching my children about the Earth, I take them out in our backyard, the beach or wherever we can manage to meet with the soil or water and see the brilliant design with plant and animal life interacting.  This past week I was blessed to go on a field trip of my own with my peers and am attempting to share with you what I learned in this blog article.

2022 Ramona in the sugarcane fields.

The Why: Lake Okeechobee and the EAA in Palm Beach County

As part of my Leadership Palm Beach County (LPBC) Engage Agriculture class day this past Wednesday, we embarked on a full day of everything agricultural that can be found in the western portion of our county.  The approximately 1160 square mile area to the south of Lake Okeechobee that is home to a place called the Everglades Agricultural Area (EAA).  It was a wonderful day put on by LPBC and their partners.  Personally, it was my second time physically out there in the farm fields as the first time was when I was a high school student in 1995 and part of the Junior Leadership program (today known as Leadership Grow). It has been some 27 years later now and I was not disappointed and in fact was amazed that there was so much more for me to learn. For more information on all the Leadership Palm Beach County programs you can go to www.leadershippbc.org

Old Florida map that highlights the Everglades of old.

If you’re not familiar with Lake Okeechobee, it’s the big blob of water that you usually see in the southern portion of Florida’s peninsula on a map. Some immediate facts about our Lake O include it being the largest lake in the southeastern U.S. and the 2nd largest freshwater one that is entirely within the boundaries of our nation.  The word “Okeechobee” is a Seminole word that means “big water.”  It is also sometimes referred to as “Florida’s Inland Sea” and known for its fishing and boating amenities. For anglers, the largemouth bass and speckled perch are among the favorite catches found here.  If you’re not interested in going on the water, you can participate in a trail walk/run around the lake for either part or all of the 110-mile trail of a 35-foot dike that is somewhat humorously named the Lake Okeechobee Scenic Trail (LOST) https://floridahikes.com/tag/lake-okeechobee-scenic-trail.

Originally Lake O was saltwater and is believed to have started some 6,000 years ago.  Over time rainwater replenished it and as today nearly 40% of the lake is fed by our rains and the rest from freshwater sources like the Kissimmee and Harney Pond.  Notably, in the early part of the 20th century Lake O could be on average 19 feet deep but the hurricanes of the 1920s caused such heavy human and animal losses that the decision by the public and policy makers of that time and following was to redirect water from the lake and also dike up portion that usually flooded on a seasonal basis.  The Herbert Hoover Dike was installed in 1928 and has since kept Lake O’s waters at bay, one of the results was the revelation that much of the soil surrounding the southern portion of the lake was rich “muck” that was a boon for farmers familiar with this “black gold”.

Since the early 1990s, the depth of the lake can hover around 9 feet and measures are taken to reduce its “height” when needed after a particularly rainy season or prior to a major hurricane event that is forecasted.  Although the bottom of Lake O used to be sand, it began to transition into a state of muck as well. The presence of increased phosphorus made it challenging for many of the bottom creatures that thrived in the sandy bottom to survive, and the resulting losses in organisms and plant life rendered the organic decomposed layers (muck is a by-product)—the heavy phosphorus levels that grew over the years negatively affected snails, worms and other insects.  At the same time, there are some plants that enjoy phosphorus and can include non-native species like the cattail (they look like hot dogs on a stick at the water’s edge).

Note: Thankfully we learned that our farmers in the EAA have taken great steps in the last two decades to help decrease the phosphorus levels that include participation and implementation of Best Management Practices (BMP) and University of Florida has been a great partner with this: http://www.lakeoalliance.org/everglades-agricultural-area

Palm Beach County’s Role in America’s Food Production?

Leadership PBC Engage Class of 2022!

One of our key issues to learn during our LPBC Engage Day was how our county participated in the food production for much of our nation east of the Mississippi River.  It turns out that the signage at 20-mile bend that we took our first photo as a group at reflects the crops that are currently grown in the EAA.  Among them are sugarcane, rice (yes, rice!), celery, romaine lettuce, radishes, mangoes, green beans, sweet corn and cabbage. In short, when much of our nation is in the throes of winter and early spring thaw/freezes, our EAA is supplying fresh produce in spades.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that this Leadership PBC Engage Agricultural Day was made possible by the cooperation and access granted by the family-owned businesses like Everglades Equipment Group, Wedgworth Farms, Hundley Farms, TKM Bengard Farms and Florida Crystals. Did you know that Palm Beach County continues to be the largest county that produces at least 30 types of vegetables, commercial sod and sugarcane?  At least 700,000 acres benefit from organic or muck soil content.

After a few introductory speeches we boarded our bus and headed out to the farm fields that included radishes, sugar cane and romaine with other lettuce varieties.  The ride itself reminded us of the soft soil composition out here in the EAA as the paved and unpaved roads have their own unique contours to them–speeding not recommended.

The radish harvesting process, complex yet efficient.

In the radish fields we learned that if there are radishes left in the field after the harvesting equipment has gone through then it’s because of their non-marketable size. Therefore they are re-incorporated into the soil and in essence become compost for future crops.  It was fascinating to watch the operator drive the radish harvester as it picked up the radishes in their respective rows, cut off the tops and sent them backwards into a trailer that would take them to the packing house eventually.

The best way for us to learn is to touch the soil and feel the produce through the act of hand harvesting.

Our romaine/lettuce field stop included hair and beard nets being handed out and worn before we could embark into an active harvest at one of TKM Bengard Farms’ fields. The smooth orchestration of the workers and the machinery assisting them was mesmerizing.  Equally impressive was the outdoor conditions of windy heat combined with the newfound knowledge we had acquired about the workers’ 6 days a week schedules that yielded pay per hour several dollars less an hour than at a local Target or Walmart.

Romaine and lettuce fields at TKM Bengard Farms.

The sugarcane fields were especially enticing as we were able to gnaw on various stalks that were cut for us by Keith Wedgworth as he explained to us the process of growth, harvest and sugar mill operations—he was equally generous with his patience and time as he answered all the questions we had about this sweet crop. As we rolled away in our bus, Keith also pointed out boxes mounted on poles throughout the sugarcane field that accounted for the barn owl housing.  Mice can be problematic for this crop and instead of using poisons the owls have been the natural deterrent. I learned for the first time in my life that all parts of the sugarcane are utilized: including some portion that becomes a compostable plate product called Tellus: https://www.tellusproducts.com. 

Keith Wedgworth and our LPBC Engage Class of 2022 members listening to his sugarcane tutorial.

We also benefitted from Florida Crystals’ Caroline Villanueva who was able to explain all the various processes that the derivatives of the sugarcane would endure after it was cut and put into trailers out of the field.

Caroline Villanueva of Florida Crystals alongside Jeffrey Willis Jr. of MCA Fishing. Photo credit LPBC.

After we left the fields we were able to witness one of the mills that helps the Sugarcane Growers Co-Op process the harvest.  This included our bus going through a warehouse building that housed raw sugar that was unfit for human consumption but would soon go through the necessary refinement to make it worthy and safe to eat. We may or may have not tried a few granules out of our collective insatiable curiousity about how it would taste: sweet and gritty.

Raw sugar in holding before going through refinement process.

Torry Island, Belle Glade and an Introduction to the area including South Bay & Pahokee

King’s Catering, great food for a wonderful and educational day! Photo credit: Ofelia Utset

The lunch was hearty and included fresh produce from our EAA—many of us including myself enjoyed seconds of the chef’s dishes.  A special thanks to Jessica Clasby and her team at the Florida Sugar Cane League for securing King’s Catering for our meal. We enjoyed a quick respite in this outdoor pavilion situated on the edge of Lake O and listened to remarks from elected representatives of Belle Glade, surrounding areas and others who served as city staff or community partners.  Their introductions and speeches were refreshing as they reflected the culture of the area and they spoke to both the challenges and hopeful progress of Belle Glade, South Bay and Pahokee. For more information on the area you can check out their municipal websites: https://www.bellegladegov.com , https://www.cityofpahokee.com , https://www.southbaycity.com .

photo credit to Ofelia Utset

While I could say that my favorite part of the day was going out into the various farm fields physically, our post-lunch “Round Robin Stations” with representatives from businesses, farms, University of Florida’s Everglades Research and Education Center and other community partners was a priceless intellectual exercise for our diverse group.  Our class was broken up into smaller segments and instructed to start at one table and then move around every several minutes as told over the microphone by one of our program chairs like Ofie Utset who also helped capture our day through photographs like some of these I’m sharing in this blog.

Photo credit to Ofelia Utset

I’ve never participated in speed dating but this Round Robin experience reminded me of the concept. We were able to hear each person’s pitch and then our small group would ask questions that would inevitably spark discussion and debate about a particular theme or problem seeking a solution from the exchange of our ideas.

Without naming the members in my small group I can share that we found a consistent theme as we spoke with our respective speakers:  it has been difficult to find motivated workers to fill in the needs of the EAA and communities therein.  This is especially true when it comes to the youth growing up in the area.  The consensus was that the use of technology like video games and general overuse of screen time on social media apps has taken away the hours that many children usually spent playing outside and therefore grow up unaware of the industries and issues that keep Belle Glade, South Bay and Pahokee rolling with its economy and community efforts. The other repetitive theme that came up was how so many people in the eastern side of Palm Beach County have numerous misconceptions about Belle Glade, Pahokee and South Bay. Locals here encourage those who’ve never visited this area to come out and experience the area and its culture.  Annual events like Black Gold Jubilee are upcoming on the calendar and a great way to take a day trip to learn more: https://blackgoldjubilee.org

While we couldn’t find final solutions in such a short time, I do believe that these Round Robin talks helped to open up some of my classmates to how their own personal experiences could help effect change and inspire creative methods to incorporate our youth and unemployed to consider either working in the EAA’s industries or support the communities by engaging in other ways through training and employment.  There is no doubt that there is benefit to teaching K-12 students about what is in their area in terms of employment opportunities to help them start to conceptualize what they would be interested in when they are of age to begin internships or apprenticeships. Lastly, I know where to go take my children to learn about fishing in Lake Okeechobee through meeting Jeffrey Willis, Jr who is giving back to the community through his fishing and outdoor recreational knowledge with his tour guide services, www.builttolast21.com

Edge of Lake Okeechobee at Torry Island, also near the only hand-drawn bridge left in Florida. https://www.thepalmbeaches.com/explore-cities/point-chosen-bridge-selfie

Post-Harvest, Packing House Tour

Lettuce washed and packaged for salads.

TKM Bengard Farms (http://www.tkmfarms.com) was our host for the packing house tour where we got to go inside to the heart of their packaging operations and witness first-hand the speed and efficiency demonstrated as the respective harvested produce arrived.  Each crop has specific needs once it is cut from the field and romaine and other lettuce greens are the most time-sensitive.  For instance, it was awe-inspiring to watch in the field when workers first picked up the produce and cored the lettuce, then placed it on a conveyer to get washed and packed and then placed into refrigerated trucks that went to the packing house for further inspection and final packaging before loaded onto ready trucks for immediate transport.

Cold, careful and concise packaging in preparation for transport.

Simply walking through the large, warehouse-sized cooler gave us the true rendition of how hard every employee worked to ensure safety, cleanliness and a thorough tracking of product from its departure in the farm fields to when it was labeled, secured and packed into the trucks for transport to stores like our very own Publix grocery supermarket.  If you live in Florida or in many parts of the southeastern U.S., chances are you’ve consumed farm products like sweet corn, cabbage, romaine and other salad products like pre-packaged “Fresh Attitudes” salad mix from TKM Bengard Farms grown right here in the Everglades Agricultural Area!

The Bookends of the Day: Everglades Equipment Group

The family-owned and operated Everglades Equipment Group (www.evergladesfarmequipment.com) hosted our group for our morning meet-up and breakfast and also served as our closing tour of the day with remarks from some of their team members: most significant to our hearts was hearing from Alleigh Reitz’s grandfather who gave us some background on how his family first came to the area. This included sharing that their family had initially suffered from tough losses but persevered to create their company and lasting legacy to this day of helping the EAA conduct its work today.

Fully Autonomous sprayer.

In addition to seeing all the big and beautiful John Deere tractors and equipment, we were introduced to an autonomous sprayer that is operated by remote control that looked similar to many consoles for video games.  The random thought struck me that there is a way for some of our youth to get involved with farming operations through the very equipment that ironically keeps them away from the outdoors—their skill set may bring them back to the world that helps feed us all through this technology that is here and growing by the day. Thanks again to all those involved at Everglades Equipment Group giving us the tour and fielding our inquiries, including Alleigh Reitz, Jason Tucker and Jackson Autry.

The businesswoman in me was also pleased to see how well-rounded this particular business is with its involvement in helping the local community through charitable contributions to kids’ sports teams and other non-profits and community partners.  It’s a benefit to the community and businesses alike when there is continued interaction.  As needs arise in a municipality, a strong connection between the business and non-profits can find help find solutions quickly.

Our final group photo of the day with Everglades Equipment Group in Belle Glade.

Philosophical Postscript for Agriculture Day

The Leadership Palm Beach County Engage current class experience is quickly coming to its completion for my 2022 cohort but I know we’ll be able to give back through helping others to have a productive and educational time when they participate in one of LPBC’s programs in the future.

I have found that at least half of this experience has been especially powerful through the connections that my classmates and I have made with each other and everyone we “engage” with during our various class days with themes like “Business Day” and “Agriculture Day”.

1995 Ramona in the sugarcane fields with Junior Leadership Palm Beach County.

Standing out in the sugarcane field I had a flashback to my high school days when I was just starting to learn how to introduce myself and get to know people through dialogue and sharing experiences. Another reminder of how it helps our youth to give back to them through mentorship and programs today like Leadership PBC Grow.  Like the teenager I once was, I continue to enjoy meeting new people and constantly learning about the community I reside in—my classmates have taught me more about certain sectors that I was fuzzy on and making new connections through our LPBC Engage sponsors and hosts has also given me opportunities to help others with my experience and colleagues. 

My last philosophical reflection to share from the EAA farm fields comes courtesy of a couple lessons our class learned from Hundley Farms when they explained to us that when radishes are left in the field due to their non-marketable size they are reincorporated into the soil.  Our tour guides further described how when produce is cut back into the fields, their decomposition helps feed the dirt for future crops. This jolted some of us but then I thought about it: sometimes we sacrifice through giving of ourselves toward the common goal in our families, work or public service and perhaps we don’t reach our own personal goals but we still retain an important purpose for future generations. The second part to this was the refrain of crop rotation and our class listening to the farmers share that it’s critical to the health of the soil to have crops moved around. My immediate reflection is that people too need to change up their routines to learn and connect more with others or risk stagnation and malaise.

R.V.S.B.

1995, Junior Leadership Palm Beach County Agriculture Day.

Sources:

http://www.visitflorida.com

http://www.tkmfarms.com

http://www.floridahikes.com

http://www.lakeokeechobee.tripod.com

http://www.lakeoalliance.org

http://www.tellusproducts.com

UF Everglades Research and Education Center:

http://www.erec.ifas.ufl.edu

http://www.discover.pbcgov.org

Note: A final thanks to LPBC’s Greg Quattlebaum, Brooke Cantwell and Millie Eyeington who have taken care of our LPBC Engage Class of 2022 throughout the program!

The True Corona Nightmare: What If You’re Cooped Up with Children and COVID-19?

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“Worm” Full Moon in South Florida March 9, 2020

March 13, 2020

COVID-19 Quarantine: What If?

As the World Health Organization deliberated earlier this week on whether to upgrade COVID-19 from an epidemic to pandemic, I sensed another collective wave of anxiety rising in parents and caregivers throughout the United States: What if I have to quarantine myself and my children? What if my job forces me to stay home at the same time my children’s school (or glorified daycare) shuts down and moves to an online format? What if I must be a “stay-at-home” with no end in sight?

Hope and Experience Reigns

Having personally logged more than a decade’s worth of “homemaker” status experience complete with a full range of infant/pediatric care for three children and geriatric home care for octogenarians/nonagenarians, I feel this is a good time for me to share with the online community some quick tips of how to survive and thrive in a possible quarantine situation with little or big ones at home.  My tone is intended to offer hope and inspiration for ideas should you find yourself stuck at home with children.

Being a teacher-caregiver with three home/multi-schooled children, I’d also like to add some levity to the topic by dispensing my humble tidbits with an acronym description for COVID-19 using CORONA as the base word.  At the end of each vignette I’ll try to provide some weblinks when able to help you research your own home plan of action. Thankfully Google and other search engines like talking with your family and friends still exist to help you brainstorm your respective paths.

C is for Correspondence Courses, Creativity, and Calming Continuity

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Materials from http://www.mothergoosetime.com

The good news is that in 2020 most Americans have access to a wealth of resources both online and in print at home when it comes to helping educate students of all ages.  If your children are enrolled in a traditional “brick and mortar” school, chances are your school district or the institution will also provide links and virtual options should you be in a self- or mandated quarantine scenario.

Take this opportunity to declutter and disinfect your home dwelling, in the process carving out an area for your students to conduct their studies.  Comfortable and clear options for seating help your children find a cozy place to read, write, and create new ideas in your home abode.  If you own books, consider congregating them in one room or area.  One of my favorite places as a child was that space made in the children’s area of the public library that silently invited children to come and have a seat and open up the physical possibilities in a book, magazine, or today a “tippity-tapping” or swiping of the screen.

A few of my personal favorite websites to consider using for both digital and print educational materials: www.education.com, www.teacherspayteachers.com, www.ctcmath.com, www.ancient.eu, www.welltrainedmind.com, www.loc.gov, www.congress.gov, www.kumonbooks.com, http://www.scholeacademy.com

O is for Opportunity, Order, and Operations Management

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Found on Facebook, meme author unknown

While staying at home is not for the feeble of spirit or faint of organized, there isn’t any true template of what the order of things should look like in your space.  If recent political news is of any sobering indication, it’s that we Americans say we want change and yet are slow to accept changes in how we accept stereotypical roles.  We say we want more racial, gender, and age diversity in positions of government power and yet the U.S. Presidential field is now down to the likes of Senator Bernie Sanders and former V.P. Joe Biden to face President Trump in the fall elections.  This slowness to adapt change is especially true when running a household with children.

Somewhere along the line in our social evolution following the Industrial Age, the onus fell on the woman of the household to be responsible for the cooking, cleaning, and all other chores regulated to the “homemaker”.  When facilitating the education of your children at home, your workload more than triples because it is a full-time job alone to help students with their school studies—let alone teach them yourself.

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Motherhood is messy with little helpers sometimes, but tasty!

If delegation is king in the outside working world, then it is most imperative at home.  I recommend devising a list on a visible chart for the household to see helping divest the household chores that needed to keep everyone clean, healthy, well-fed, and in turn happy.  If you have been managing the home without much help from your dependents, consider the opportunity to alleviate those daily stresses and help foster more responsibility in your children.

In my home, the older children have certain nights they are assigned planning the dinner menu and must fold their own laundry (at age 10 you get your own hamper and clean your clothes too!).  Lunchtime is their own responsibility, however, I do provide choices that within their respective age-appropriate ability. For instance, an 8-year-old can reach the sliced bread to apply both peanut butter and jelly for their sandwich.

There are numerous resources online for tips or printables for devising a list of responsibilities for your household. Consider reading books to the younger ones that cover taking care of the home or cooking.  For the older kids, be honest and discuss what your concerns/needs are and what are they able to consider doing to be a beneficial working part of the household.  Again, consider finding a template list that works for you as guidance, one of my favorites: https://livingmontessorinow.com/montessori-monday-age-appropriate-chores-for-children-free-printables/

R is for Rest, Reset, and Review What’s Really Important

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Personal back portrait from days gone by

The old writings in various cultures and in my personal reading of Christian scriptures often repeat the adage that when faced with an unexpected circumstance in life that could be deemed unfortunate, there is good that can come out of it eventually if not immediately.

So, you’re suddenly stuck at home with children and your job whether it was inside or outside of the home. This combination can be depression-inducing or at the very least aggravating.  Also consider that your children are having a difficult time with this unforeseen set of events.  More often than not, your children will absorb and in turn react to however you’re feeling and acting in this situation.  Your default reaction may be either free-fall into this experience without much organization or swing to the other extreme of trying to exact complete control over every minute of the day with your children—both of these extremes can produce unsavory results.

I mention “rest” and “reset” in this section because for many of you, this may be how you try to approach the school break times in your children’s year.  If the summer is their big vacation time, the first few weeks are a decompression time for your students before settling into a new routine.  If this concept is foreign to you, again, there is no true template for you and your children but consider this to be a time to review what’s truly important.

Not unlike adults, children and teenagers need routine to help them grow and flourish.  They also need rest and reflection within that daily construct.  Being at home for extended hours every day may be something your entire household is not used to with jobs, school, extra-curriculars and the like.  Remember that the opportunities to learn are not regulated to your students, you have a chance to learn alongside them and realize what amazing souls reside in your children when not stressed about running from schools to practices in traffic every day.

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Lakeside park in North Palm Beach

O is for the Outdoors

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Trail in Signal Mountain, Tennessee

The fact that I may have to consider lecturing anyone on the importance of the outdoors for both children and adults is disturbing.  Yet many Americans have simply lost touch (physically especially) with the outdoors and what raw nature can teach us.  No amount of screen time with educational applications can replace what the interaction of the human and Earth can yield in terms of creativity, philosophical reflection, botanical and zoological education, and an overall appreciation for the organic mechanizations that make our daily life on this planet possible.

As mentioned before, there are countless digital and print ideas for how to approach “field trips” outside with your children.  You may be able to simple open your back or front door to investigate.  For avid readers, consider downloading or checking out from your local library the following book: “Last Child in the Woods” by Richard Louv.

Our household is blessed with a backyard that’s allowed me the freedom to create planters with herbs, fruits, and vegetables with my children.  I’ve also allowed them a space in the yard to literally dig into the dirt and create and recreate their own worlds, complete with a hose running water through it.

My children’s world they named”Tai-rang”

Although this may overwhelm anyone with germaphobe tendencies, there is a lot of scientific research still coming in that points to the benefits of us interacting with nature, i.e. playing in the mud.  What good is teaching our children about the environment in schools if they don’t have the opportunity to physically walk, run, and play in it?  You never know, the extra time taken to go outside with your child this week may help inspire them to find a calling in a profession that would help the environment in the future.

www.nps.gov, www.stateparks.org, www.arborday.org, www.nationalgeographic.com

N is for Nesting, Neighbors, Not Saying “No” So Much, and News

 We usually think of “nesting” as a term reserved for the woman swelling with expectancy of her child’s birth.  In the case of a quarantine situation, it may be the first time you’ve had an extended period to sit in one place and really assess what does your home look like?  I personally went through a phase years ago where I researched “feng shui” for ideas on how to work with what I had in our home: https://www.thespruce.com/easy-steps-to-feng-shui-living-room-1274493

Neighbors: remember them?  Maybe you have great relationships with the people immediately to your right and left—or maybe not.  This may also be a season of learning who and what are in your local community and how you may be of help to each other during a possible COVID-19 outbreak in your area.

When dealing with circumstances beyond our control, we often resort to trying to control what we can.  If you’re a parent you also know that being at home with your children often involves many questions an hour and therefore innumerable ways to say “no”.  The trap for us becomes evident when we’re trying to exert more control in our home life and start replying in the negative more often than actually necessary.  Again, if you need more ideas as to how to respond more positively, there are many articles and blog entries online covering the subject or ask your local tribe of family and friends what their strategies are in communications with their children.

News may be a tap or a click away for most Americans, but when you’re stuck in the house this medium can get old very quickly.  It so happens that many publications still provide subscription materials at home these days.  In my home we have a 94-year-old and children under the age of 10 who especially benefit from the print medium.  Perhaps call your local paper or check in with your favorite magazine sources to see if you can enact a short-term subscription to have the publication(s) delivered to your door.

A is for Art Therapy, Appreciation, Adventure, and Amazon

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R.V.S.B. original art, acrylic on canvas, circa 2002

If you are a parent or caregiver of little ones then you know their affinity for drawing and coloring.  As an educator, I’ve noticed that the older children get it seems the less likely they are to participate in the visual arts unless they’re taught.  While I understand this may be subject matter out of your league, try to open your mind to the possibility that participating alongside your student in an artistic endeavor may benefit you too.

A time of quarantine at home with children may seem as inviting as hunkering down in a hurricane with them (I’ve been there too), but I focus on looking at the bright side for both parties to better appreciate each other.  This may be the first time you really get to pause and read through what coursework your children are doing at school and understand why they may be so detached and cranky at the end of a stressful school day.  In turn, your children may learn more about what you actually do at work during the day and how those responsibilities can drain you to the point of having a short-fuse temper if they make a mess on the floor when they’re home with you after school.

At risk of being redundant, adventure lies in the unexpected and a quarantine may afford the only “pause” time in your relationship with your children to seek out a new way of looking at things together.  If nothing else, this time together helps demonstrate to our children that life is filled with unplanned occasions where we simply need to press forward and make a positive outcome of it.

Amazon: need I say more?  At this time, we have the opportunity to have things delivered to our door via humans.  If they get short-staffed due to COVID-19, then the drone technology will likely get some quick updates.

Corona Closing

While we can all debate ad nauseum about novel this virus concern is, we are finding that government authorities around the world are taking unique measures that we’ve not seen since the likes of America’s travel security aftermath in the wake of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks.  As a home caregiver and educator, I’d like to impart the idea that staying at home with your children may be a life-changing opportunity offered during this temporary season. Although you wouldn’t have planned it this way, it may be priceless in its yields for both of your futures as parent and child.

R.V.S.Bean

About the Author: Current caregiver and education administrator at home and MBA candidate at University of Florida’s Warrington School of Business, her past life prior to children included work as a political appointee worker for President G.W. Bush at the U.S. Treasury Department, Legislative Aide for former Congressman Mark A. Foley, and reading teacher at Bannockburn Elementary in Illinois.

My Humble Reply to Miss Greta Thunberg: Who is Responsible for Climate Stewardship?

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September 25, 2019

Quick Answer: Everyone.  Literally, everyone on this planet.  If we’re to scold anyone when it comes to how we humans have conducted ourselves in relationship to our Earth, then we’d have to do it toward ourselves and every household, nomadic tent city, unique compound, homeless camp or any other type of setup that we homo sapiens respectively keep our residence.  Please make no mistake in understanding the state of our world’s climate; this planet will be able to continue with or without us.  Truly, it’s a matter of what we’re comfortable with and able to accept based on our lifestyles as we know it here in the 21st century.

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Long Answer: The following is my succinct personal story in recent days of trying to love the Earth, fight for a new mindset on a bipartisan basis, and coming to raw terms of reality especially when it comes to environmental politics.

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It’s been nearly a week since I traveled to Washington, D.C. for the second time this month.  The first time was to attend the Bush-Cheney administration reunion held for those who served in various agencies and roles back during those years—it was surreal to be in the company with those whom, along with myself (I was a political appointee in Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson’s office), had given of our time and talents to serve an administration during what already has been documented as a historically poignant time in our country’s history.  We were able to share an audience with former President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney as they reflected on those years and shared encouraging antidotes for the present time.  I personally took a time-out after serving the administration to give birth to our first child, followed by a few more pregnancies that sum totaled in three wonderful children while also helping elderly in the home we’ve had the blessing to live in south Florida for the past decade.

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My second D.C. visit came by way of invitation to attend the Environmental Defense Fund’s Fly-In last week and to take the opportunity to visit with offices of Florida’s congressional delegation to share my heartfelt inclinations about the importance of pursuing legislative goals of environmental solutions for our state as well as nationwide.  Ironically, as I traversed Capitol Hill on foot last Thursday with a few of my like-minded colleagues, our U.S. Congress was also receiving the most recent public comments from Miss Greta Thunberg of Sweden.  While I carried copies of my children’s illustrations and short comments about our stewardship of the Earth to my state’s various congressional offices, Miss Thunberg was testifying that our nation was doing little to nothing to help assuage the seemingly accelerating effects of our contribution to our planet’s climatic cycle. In the past couple days, Miss Thunberg also addressed the United Nations in New York City by repeatedly saying “how dare you” in regards to the idea that this global governing body entity looks to the youth for hope and yet fails in action.

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Rewind to earlier this year: I took the time out to track our household’s trash habits for a couple of weeks.  This included taking note of the packaging that we deal with when purchasing goods and how we dispose of those items as well as pre-existing goods in the home.  The results of this personal audit almost sent me into a full-fledged depression swing similar to the post-partum blues I had experienced in varying degrees with each of my children born.  It was embarrassing to recognize just how much waste we deal with in this home and although we try to diligently sort our trash into as much recycling as we can—then we’re faced with the dirty secret in most of our nation’s municipalities that much of our recycling isn’t actually recycled, rendering this conscientious ritual of sorting our garbage in the house a moot matter.

My personal trash inventory and revelation, along with a shared vision with friends, gave me the inspiration to seek more avenues to help effect change in my city and county in the interest of cleaning up our act when it came to household habits and waste processing.  It also highlighted to me that it is a harsh reality to face our personal habits when it comes to how we travel, purchase and process goods, dispose of our trash, and use our resources like water and energy sources.  It is this message I believe that needs to be conveyed to the world’s microphone so to speak.  Although as a mother and educator I wholeheartedly support the notion of a 16-year-old having global attention when it comes to helping influence change in funding, legislation, and other environmental mandates needed to assist a “clean-up” of our habits, I dislike our collective avoidance of the real problem we face in terms of our interaction with our planet’s climatic cycles: ourselves.

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There is so much more to write on this subject today, probably redundant in nature given how much has already been written and shared in digital spaces such as the Twitter social media platform.  If there is anything I desire to share and encourage in this discussion regarding our climate stewardship going forward, it would be that the most effective course of action would be to cease finger-pointing to entities such as governing bodies and business corporations.  If we have any hope of dramatically changing our habits, we must take personal responsibility and ask ourselves if we’re willing to re-think how we transport ourselves, purchase and utilize goods, sort our garbage, and overall make those hourly decisions to make a difference in our human footprint on Earth.

R.V.S.Bean

“We are given substance, nurtured, and sustained by family. Kinship goes beyond family and is the connection we feel to the world at large and everything in it.  Given the concept of family, it isn’t difficult to understand the idea of kinship with other forms of life—everything was of the Earth. We all came from it one way or another and returned to it when life was over. These were the unalterable realities that connected us to everything around us.”–Joseph M. Marshall III, The Lakota Way

Some favorite sources:

www.edf.org

https://www.wsj.com/articles/saint-greta-spreads-the-climate-gospel-11568989306

www.marinelife.org

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/09/24/how-greta-thunbergs-rise-could-backfire-on-environmentalists.html

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Mass Shootings Again: We Still Love, Don’t We?

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Welcome to Friday, August 9, 2019.

This has been a tough week for our nation’s attitude as reflected in social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter following the high-profile mass shootings that occurred in Ohio and Texas this past weekend.

As with anything that happens in our human society here in the United States of America, the ripple effects of events that reverberate through our populous can manifest in either very positive manners or, unfortunately, in the nastiest ways.

I have an interactive story to share with you if you’re still reading this that is related to what’s happening in our country when it comes to everyday interactions. Imagine what it must be like if the following happened to you:

You’re a middle-aged Caucasian man, handsome in features, and having to board a flight to attend to a family situation out-of-state.  As you enter the departing plane, you sit down in the middle seat of a row containing three seats in your designated row, there is an older woman already sitting to your right.

A couple minutes after you’ve gotten seated, to your left comes a young man who is wearing a “Buttigieg 2020” t-shirt and he nods a greeting toward you and the lady next to you as he sits down. You shift as is customary to allow your new seat-mate to have enough room as he buckles his lap-belt.  The woman to your right also shifts, but in an agitated manner after having bent down and looked to the left to see this passenger.

As everyone is settling in on the plane, the woman to your right becomes physically animated with her hand gestures and begins to engage you in conversation.  Maybe “conversation” is an exaggeration as she seems to be speaking to you without having introduced herself or even asked you what’s your name. Her voice’s volume has raised as she starts with: “You know what, these liberals are just getting out of control. They are bringing this nation down and causing all these holes in our society. This is just crazy, how can we operate our democracy with these gays and such that are destroying the moral fabric of our nation? All the homosexuals and Jews just need to be rounded up and shot. They wonder why these massacres are occurring, we need to start with the problems and eliminate them, right?”

You are ingesting this “conversation”, these words strung together with a combination of rusty, barbed wire and battery acid spraying all over your face when clearly the recipient is not truly addressing yourself but the young man that is wearing the 2020 presidential bid by Buttigieg.

Normally, you are able to let moments like this go and ignore the person spewing such rhetoric…but today is not that day.  You are a gay man and this lady just told you that she believes that you and all your “kind” along with others she’s labeled as unfit should be rounded up and eliminated from physical existence on this Earth.

You snap, inside yourself, like a wooden stick during a cold winter’s day in a dry climate—your temper just snaps in half with a CRACK as you respond to this woman sitting to your right (still don’t know her name): “You know, you’re right, we should start with eliminating those who are so close-minded and harsh in judgement”.

The lady looks intently into your light blue eyes that are undoubtedly sparkling with pain and disdain simultaneously and she nods toward you saying, “Why, yes, that’s a good start. I agree.”

To which you quip back, “Because, you know, I’m one of those gays that you mention should be rounded up and shot.  So I would appreciate if you just leave me alone now and refrain from speaking to me again.” You shift your body to the left as you use your U-shaped travel pillow to allow yourself some rest.  Silence ensues. Did the Buttigieg guy hear all of this? Does it matter?

This story doesn’t stop here.

You attend to the family business for a couple of days. It’s time to leave now and board another flight back to your home city.

This has been a rough passage of trip, you don’t care for air travel as it is. You’re ready for your Tito’s Vodka and soda as you board this home-bound flight.

You have a window seat in a two-seat row.  After seating yourself, soon thereafter your seat-mate who is a black woman dressed in a beautiful magenta skirt suit comes to sit to your left.  Again, as is customary, you shift appropriately so the lady has enough room to situate herself as the plane settles into take-off mode.

The drink cart time has come as the flight is now at a cruising altitude.  When the stewardess comes to take your row’s order you ask for your long-awaited “Tito’s” and are given an alternative vodka selection and asked whether that will work.

At this very moment, the lady to your left starts to speak loudly in a Jamaican accent at what seems to be either you or at the stewardess: “Oh no, I’m not sitting here with this guy drinking!”

Reminder that you’re a good 54 years young and know that you can do whatever you want as a gay man in the USA who has completed a tough trip and just needs to decompress in peace.  As if on cue and responding to this truth, the stewardess doesn’t acknowledge what this seat-mate of yours just said, only asks, “Would you still like the vodka sir?”.

“Ah yes, I’ll take two bottles please,” you respond immediately.  You proceed to ask for two cups of ice to boot. The lady next to you continues to rail on about, “Oh no, I am NOT going to sit with him as he drinks!” No one is paying attention to her, including yourself who really just wants to avoid another verbal altercation and numb the pain of the last few days.

Resolute not to engage at this point, you toward the window and sipping your liquid therapy at this moment. Your seat-mate harrumphs and pulls out her iPad and begins to tappity-tap on it.  This actually calms you as you’re grateful that it seems she’s now distracted and no longer calling you out as if you’re some town drunkard hell-bent on corrupting the entire airplane full of weary travelers.

Being such close quarters, your seat-mate is engaged in a game on her digital device that’s large enough that you can read what she’s doing.  It’s a Bible verse/theme game.  She visibly gets stumped and is uneasily moving around in her seat as she’s trying to figure out the answer.

Perhaps against your better judgement you lean in and whisper to her, “Job”…she glances at you with both a look of horror and incredulous surprise asking, “What?”. You repeat, “Job, the answer is Job. Try it”.  She puts it in and immediately is gratified with positive reinforcement that she got it right. No thanks from her but then again, this is a fluke, right?

This type of scenario repeats itself several times over the course of an hour into the flight, you’re giving her answers like “Ecclesiastes” and “Gospel of Matthew”.  By the end of it all, this Jamaican lady is astounded at your knowledge of the Christian Bible and says to you, “I misjudged you, keep reading the Word of God, you’re doing amazing.”

To that you simply say with a gentle tone and soft smile, “Thanks, I accept your apology”.

Soon you fall asleep, putting a pause on the button of your life that seems to be full of these moments of late—mass judgements and angry people all emboldened to express their feelings whether it be online in social media platforms or while traveling in a metal tube in the sky to complete strangers.

Note: This story scenario is based on a true story as retold to me and others by a man named “Joseph”. I’m withholding his true name and position for protection but I’m indebted to him for giving me a window into what it can be like to be in a certain segment of our society and how painful and detrimental it can be for all involved when interactions such as these arise.

Politics and religions aside, I pray we can find that we all trust in Love and proceed forward in this nation with the mindset that there is much more that binds us together in unison than what drives us apart.

R.V.S.B.

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So You Didn’t SOTU? Try Short Afterthoughts

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The State of the Union (SOTU)  address isn’t everyone’s cup of entertainment tea.  Especially during this time in our nation’s political climate where anyone who is elected President of the United States can fall under scrutiny of whether they belong in that role or should be impeached for some nefarious reason.  I offer my short afterthoughts of the SOTU in case you were curious for a breakdown of what happened during this 2019 speech.

As I watched the address Tuesday night, I felt déjà vu wash over me relentlessly like the south Atlantic waves that break on the Florida beaches 10 minutes east of my home. There was a time I watched the SOTU only steps away from the Capitol building, securely at my work desk in a U.S. representative’s office— available for the boss if needed but simply enjoying being a political geek as a worker bee.

As the cameras panned over to the Democratic side of the House floor aisle, I was proud for a moment to see many white-clad women in their proud unity with each other—although it stung a little to see them apart from the Republican women. I wondered how much stronger we would be sitting together despite party affiliation differences?  Why wear white by the way? I understand the historical entomology going back to the suffrage movement of last century,  but sometimes a tradition should evolve with the present times. Couldn’t we pick another color to wear since “white” is taboo in our current social-political climate?  Double-standards are the land mines of our political landscape today.  Either way, we shouldn’t stop asking questions or trying to extend a hand to the “other side” of the political aisle.  We have no one to blame but ourselves for erecting these barriers against working toward compromises merely based on whether a donkey or an elephant punctuates your political affiliation.  Women are the village-minded ones who can change the tone from previous generations of male-dominated division tactics of politicking in our relatively young nation.

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House Speaker Nancy Pelosi: I reserve a moment of respect for her in spite of my philosophical differences with her.  She’s Speaker of the House, again.  Seeing her and President Donald Trump in the same frame together was an astonishing sight. These two individuals that command polarizing attention, diabolically different individuals in their shared age group, at this moment of history at the operating helm of our nation—the Titanic is a bath toy in comparison to this visual statement at the SOTU.   Never mind the fact that you can search the internet and social media platforms for countless moments caught between President Trump and Speaker Pelosi that dripped of sarcasm in copious amounts.  I can only imagine the amount of stress their respective staffs were under during the SOTU while watching their principals flex and flaunt their mighty titles and modus operandi.

I noted congresswoman Alexandria Oscasio-Cortez’s posture at one point in the SOTU, evidently taking a photogenic opportunity to pout about the President of the United States.  Ah, yes, I recalled how I too was in my twenties once and felt so passionately that changes must be made in our society while still learning how everything works in the adult world.  Rep. Oscasio-Cortez at once can be an inspiration for younger women who would like to make a positive difference and yet because of her lack of humility with respect to her inexperience, she can also be an awful example of how overzealous behavior can wreck a generation’s ability to effect real change. For example, although we can all agree that humans are part to blame for things like fossil fuel dependency and an obscene amount of garbage produced; to demand a complete stop of electrical grid usage of fossil fuels without a solid transition plan is pompous pandering to an electorate who are more concerned about how to make daily ends meet. (readers note: research “Green New Deal”)

Overall President Trump delivered a SOTU speech that was a verbal relief after his endless tweets and media sound bites that had barraged our nation’s collective consciousness in the weeks following the partial shutdown of the federal government.  Utilizing more “we” than “I” seemed to be the end result, whether he feels that unity is possible is irrelevant.  It still feels better to hear that type of connecting language—especially in a public forum like this where other countries are dissecting our Commander in Chief’s every sentence for clues in how to engage our governmental officials and citizens abroad.

There were many good human-interest stories at the SOTU.  These too were unifying moments, times where both major parties could stand and clap. Again, nothing wrong with finding these short and sweet instances where we can blend into being proud to be an American—with the freedom to be ourselves and yet still celebrate the victories of ordinary citizens overcoming extraordinary circumstances.

I do wish the best for both the U.S. House and Senate Members of Congress this legislative session—especially the new members regardless of whether I agree with their platforms. It is a difficult but noble position to be a public servant in this capacity.  Most citizens don’t know the details of the work involved for each elected legislator and their staff.  We’re blessed to be in a country where our votes truly still matter if we all respectively engage actively in the process.  It’s a good thing to see more cultural diversity in our U.S. Congress and to bring in more women, younger and older.  This SOTU may have been a powderpuff event in wordplay but our nation deserves to have times like this where a message is delivered with more alignment in tone as we move forward.  God bless us all. +

R.V.S.B.

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The Dance of Differences

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Seashell Philosophy by She: Volume 7 in a Series

Note: Been a while since I’ve written one of these because it takes getting a break by the seashore to get the inspiration for these pieces. Rare.

Summer 2018 Setting

The summertime weather here in south Florida is intense because we get the double whammy of high temperatures coupled with high humidity that can envelope us like a heavy wool coat but the difference being that it’s wet and nonstop with its intensity.

As I’ve been a mother for over a decade now, I’ve found that our best chance for survival outdoors when in town here is to head for the coast immediately after the sun rises to enjoy the ocean before the sand becomes lava-hot and the eventual afternoon thunderstorm squalls move in.

The Tide Retreating 

When I arrived at the shoreline a couple days ago, my children found that the high tide had already crested and so the ocean would start its gradual retreat as we sojourned over the next few hours at the shoreline.

What’s exciting about this reversal of water flow is that one can get a glimpse of the shells, rocks and other small trinkets that the sea can give up any given day. There’s a thrill in watching the water retreat every few seconds while also yielding a new batch of goodies–the trick is to strike and pick up what you see and like before the next breaking wave takes it away.

Nature Reflecting Us

During a time in our nation when any given media outlet online or print is exposing all the negative shades of our current social or political status, it’s liberating to stand between the barrier of land and water and to feel the force of the inevitable coupled with the unexpected. “The unexpected” being anything and everything that our offshore Gulf Stream can depose on the receding shoreline. “The inevitable” being the waves, propelled by the currents, ushered by the moon tidal forces and so forth.

Here’s the good news: we’re all so different. There is no “black” and “white”. It turns out that there are countless textures, shapes, colors and differing weights to the shells and rocks I sifted through my fingers as the waves broke against my legs with my feet sinking into the shifting sand at the magical barrier where land and sea overlap. How comforting when nature reflects the truth about who we are: an amazing array of physical people with unique personalities!

What Is Our Place?

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As I selected a variety of empty shells, sea glass and bits of rock I felt a rush of anger at the idea that our nation could ever fall into the trap of writing off sections of people based on their looks, pasts or perceived biases. Don’t we realize that what makes our world so beautiful are the differences that we all represent?

When we really take in the nature around us on Earth, it’s devastating to recognize how we’ve collectively cheated ourselves into thinking that we as humans are so caustic as to write off entire cultures, nations or people in general based on the color of our skin or our socio-economic backgrounds. What gives?

The Sorting of the Truth

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Every time that I return from the Atlantic Ocean shore with a pocket or bag full of shells, rocks and other artifacts I immediately put the finds into a bucket full of water at home and have fun sorting them with my children—even alone if the kids aren’t interested.

Here’s what I’ve found over the decades of practicing this ritual: every fiber of my being senses that nature mimics life incarnate and so all these splendid varieties of physical representations of what has trespassed our ocean system soothes my frazzled nerves. The truth is that we all have more in common with each other than we realize despite our differences.

Go Out: Pick Up Some Rocks or Shells!

As dull as it may seem to some folks, would encourage anyone who lives by a body of water (even lakes and streams) to enjoy the simplicity found in picking up natural deposits like rocks, driftwood, shells and countless other things yielded by these various bodies of water.

It’s a therapeutic exercise in harvesting what’s available and plentiful but it’s also a great lesson in recognizing individuality. There’s an amazing diversity out there in our geology and yet it’s a strong reminder of how we as people are full of different facets and hues—just like the handful of granite and quartz pieces I was able to retrieve from the Atlantic earlier this week.

R.V.S.B.

 

 

A Writer’s Week Wrecked by Public Tragedies…or not?

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The “It comes in Threes” began with a Spade

It all started with random comments made when I would check my Facebook feed sporadically earlier this week while juggling summer camp schedules and other countless domestic duties. After reading similar posts saying: “Kate Spade, so sad, RIP” I decided it was time to investigate further.

The news was everywhere and I felt sadness for a woman and her family whom I don’t know—truth be told, I would often see her purses in the department stores and thought them clever and cute but never bought one for myself.

Out of respect for the work she put it into her fashion line with the support of family and friends, however, I wish I had if only to take a moment to say “thank you” to her for coming up with a fun line of products that many people have come to enjoy and share with others through the years.  We sometimes wish that we could have helped another person in pain after the fact right?

No Reservations, Parts Unknown and Clearly No Idea

Friday morning arrives with a foggy mindset as I had been doing my best not to read too much about depression and suicidal tendencies in the wake of Kate Spade’s personal tragedy made public and dissected by everyone who took the time to type, tap or dictate their view on the how, why and what to do to avoid more macabre news notifications.

Again the social media water cooler lit up with the news of yet another soul departed by their own devices. The setting was in France this time starring Anthony Bourdain: his buddy found him and then as I finally just pulled up one of the news websites like CNN it became real and now the tears started to burn. Bourdain found dead by apparent suicide and while on-site filming for a new season of his “Parts Unknown”.  This particular show has been a way for me to vicariously live through his travels and be inspired to have courage in my culinary choices as I most recently tried Jamaican food in a local gas station–while the outside appearance of the establishment was unsavory, the food within is heavenly. (note: Mama D’s Calabash for my local readers in Palm Beach County)

At this point I stopped reading anything online or by way of smart phone except to dispatch some personal messages to some friends about it. When Friday afternoon rolled in, so did a fantastic thunderstorm outside our home here in south Florida with violent flashes of raw electricity and rattling thunder. I walked into our pantry and pulled out a fine red wine and paired it with some cheese from Switzerland (another inspiration from Bourdain, wine and cheese make great bedfellows all over the world). As I drank the wine slowly and savored the cheese, I lit a candle and watched the waterworks rage outside with life-wrestling drama.

Now the tears started to moisten my stoic and disciplined eyes. Simultaneously I felt mad and sad. There were waves of jealously coupled with tremors of righteous anger from feelings that injustice had been rampant this week with the public news of these suicides while there were probably many others in the world who died similarly this week but most of the social media users and cable news companies will never know about.

I didn’t cry as I prayed for Spade and Bourdain’s souls watching the storm continue outside our window, the lights flickering for a moment after a close bolt of lightning struck across the street. You see, I believe many people struggle with depression. Perhaps it could be argued that every human being on this Earth will have a depressive episode even if only once in their life. When these suicidal tragedies occur, there are some of us that feel relief that we dodged the proverbial bullet at least this time.

We can do the research, the therapy and the general public is capable of pontificating our views on the matter of depression and the links to suicide with or without scientific reasoning. Here’s what I know from experiences with depression in my lifetime: it doesn’t discriminate and the dark battles within us all can rival the best cinematic representation of fights, i.e. Lord of Rings or Game or Thrones visuals. It can be lonely and dangerous.

It’s positive that we’re having these discussions regarding depression and the afflictions that can result from it as uncomfortable as they can be at times. How we treat each other really does affect us. People are more connected than they realize and I don’t just mean through “friending” or “snapchatting” each other. We’re in a time of great social evolution but we can get stuck in the mud too easily with our emotional reactions to each other as we interact.

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“Things That Matter”: Crying Now

While still letting the recent news of Bourdain’s simmer and reduce, I made the habitual swipe and tap to check social media only to see a note about a farewell letter from Charles Krauthammer. In the whirly dervish of the past several months of political and economics news cycle it was somehow lost on me that I hadn’t seen him in person during “talking head” shows.

As I read his letter aloud to my husband, http://www.foxnews.com/politics/interactive/2018/06/08/fox-news-charles-krauthammer-says-goodbye-to-colleagues-friends-and-viewers.html ,the tears started cascading and making it difficult for me to keep my voice calm as his words came alive in our living room. Thomas and I cut our teeth politically in Washington, D.C. together and we always enjoyed Krauthammer’s commentaries in print and in person. As moderates ourselves who believe in people over party, we found his discourse refreshing and hope its legacy continues.

My tears may have been partly for Charles having to suffer physically from such an illness but I suspect my heart also breaks for so many of us that find it difficult to find Peace in our respective lives while we still have healthy breaths to live. We can fall into the trap of hurting each other and ourselves when we lose the stillness and grace of Spirit in this world. Krauthamer loves chess and now sees his “checkmate” ahead and shares an uncommon candor in accepting his fate in the calm letter to the world about it.

Weekend Renewal

Like John Lennon once sung in “Believe” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRhq-yO1KN8, I do hope and believe in the idea that people can strive for peace within themselves as well as with each other to “be as one”. +

R.V.S.Bean

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Socially Responsible Investing and Our iChildren, Androidkids or Cybernanny

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A possible art piece in the future: sketch by Ramona

Welcome to 2018: a year where those who have the largest shares in big companies like Apple Inc. (AAPL) are in a position to exert their self-proclaimed moral responsibility to address the astonishing rate at which humans are interacting with the computer processors on their smartphones and similar devices.

The Premise

The article released this past Saturday, January 7th by the Wall Street Journal reports that there is currently a push by some large shareholders in Apple that are calling for the company to make changes to their systems to help parents exert more control and limit phone usage. If you haven’t read it already, I recommend it: https://www.wsj.com/articles/iphones-and-children-are-a-toxic-pair-say-two-big-apple-investors-1515358834

Personal Past

I personally have written for years on this subject about the possible negative effects on our children and their interaction with digital technology and social media. At the end of this piece I’ll provide links to my past blog articles for context and proof that although I’m not a medical doctor, my experience as a mother of three children has weathered me into the philosophy I have on this general subject today.

The Short and Painful Truths

We’ve all been guinea pigs since our computers made the leap from the Oregon Trail game in green on the screen to the Internet on PCs to the smartphone on some of your wrists.

Somewhere along the way parents everywhere forgot that babies and children watch their caregivers and strive to copy them relentlessly. So while parents obsess over how many “likes” they’ve racked to their recent Facebook post or are scrolling through Pinterest ideas for dinner that night, their young are taking that in as normal behavior even when they are vying for their parents’ attention in the process. Even more alarming is that many parents may spend more time trying to “capture the moment” in forms of photo bursts, videos and vines than actual quality time conversing or participating in activities with their children.

I refuse to personally judge anyone in this area as I’ve made my own mistakes regarding this new frontier of instant messaging and phone calls at a touchscreen’s length. Instead I’m comfortable sharing my own personal journey as a way of giving some ideas to parents and caregivers that perhaps they can weave into their way of life — in turn helping the next generation have an idea as to how to navigate their own progeny in tandem with our technological advances yet to come.

Parents: Put It Away

This is a blunt heading and intentionally so. This is not easy and perhaps quite impossible for many people depending on their line of work. Thankfully there is the “vibrate” setting for most devices and which I use constantly.

Before you dismiss this idea entirely, do yourself a favor and think about how much time you actually interface personally on a daily basis with your child or children. The answers will vary depending on vocation and age of the children of course but the effect should warrant an honest assessment.

Here’s what I’ve learned in just under 10 years of being a mother myself to three children under the age of 10: they grow up quickly and learn even faster!

If you make it a point to interact with your child without the smartphone attached to the palm of your hand it will help them bond not only with you but also know how to engage with other humans.

The questions will come and with them your respective answers as it goes with the majority of parental interactions with their young — in my case, my older children have inquired as to why they don’t have phones. My responses to these repetitive questions are simple and hopeful. For example, I let them know that their father and I don’t see a need for it nor is it allocated for in our family budget. In addition, we believe they will have them one day in an even better model and aren’t missing anything in the meantime.

While investors are suggesting to companies about how their technology can be manipulated to help give parents control the reality is that the control is with the parents themselves all along.

People, Artificial Intelligence and Beyond

Guess what? We’re still all test subjects together as we progress in this whole new world of cyber-digital interactions and integrations with homo sapiens.

We’re talking about parental controls available on the iPhone platform and before we know it we’ll be reading psychologists’ research papers on the emotional integration of robot-nannies on our grandchildren one day.

To be sure we’re excelling in incorporating these new devices into our lives so quickly without knowing its effects until we become aware of the effects. Although we focus mostly on negative consequences, we should be fair and acknowledge where the technology has been very helpful for parents and kids alike.  For example, I recall a scratchy long distance land-line phone call to Greece with my great-grandparents whom I could hardly hear — our kids get to Facetime with their grandparents in California.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and need to read something that will assuage the fear of the unknown I reccommend “Abundance” by Peter H. Diamandis. It’s a helpful book with opening our mind to the possibilities of the good things that can come out of our digital evolution together.

Global Village Is Not the Front Line

Ever since the release of the World Wide Web late last century, the world has shrunk down to what is commonly referred to as the “global village”.

This shouldn’t be confused with the world that our children know when they are born and growing up in our homes. We as parents and caregivers are still their front line in seeing and interpreting the world around them.

In the end the moral responsibility still falls on us individually to make parenting decisions that we feel are right for our own offspring.

Blessings to all you out there raising children in the 21st century and beyond!

R.V.S.B.

P.S. As promised, past blog links of mine concerning children and cyberworld:

I Spy the i-Generation…Momm-i, Dadd-i?
What Can I do? If you’re a parent, please read this now or when you have a moment, “The Touch-Screen Generation” by…ceoofthehome.net
A Poem Short: “Toddler Time Twice”
Toddler Time Twice These toddler years are so fleeting, little eyes big hearts retreating. Clinging and needing hugs…ceoofthehome.net
Face It: Facebook is the New Sex Talk with Our Children
In The Economist magazine’s June 9, 2012 issue there’s a short piece on page 18 entitled: “Facebook and children: Let…ceoofthehome.net
iParenting: The Positives, Negatives and i-don’t-know!
iSCARED Note: I would like to apologize upfront for any possible offences I may incur at what follows in my article-I…ceoofthehome.net
Smart Phones: Dumbing and Numbing Parents and Children Alike
PART ONE In full disclosure, if you don’t know me personally, I will admit that I have always had a love-hate…ceoofthehome.net
Our children and networking websites: a glimpse of the future
Yesterday I walked into my local U.S. Post Office with my son T.A. in my arms while balancing the 4 small packages I…ceoofthehome.net
Facebook Phenomenon: Facing It
FACEBOOK PHENOMENON In the past week or so, I’ve read and seen a couple things regarding the Facebook phenomenon as I…ceoofthehome.net

A Marathon Reminder for a Seasoned Runner

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Prologue

At this writing, 24 hours has passed since I joined thousands of people along West Palm Beach’s Intracoastal waterway to start the Fit Team Marathon of the Palm Beaches’ half and full marathon race yesterday on Sunday, December 3, 2017.

My body is still carrying on a one-sided conversation with my brain (perhaps a rant) about the abuse it has endured and how it’s still threatening a complete physical shutdown to show it means business. I’m proud of everyone that got up so early and completed their respective races, whether goals were reached or not.

Past

It has literally been well over a decade since I ran this specific race. It was the Inaugural edition in 2004 for West Palm Beach hosting its own marathon series race and it was also my first marathon ever—somehow I made the qualification for the 2005 Boston marathon which I immediately signed up for and then finished off my year of marathoning with the 30th anniversary Marine Corps Marathon (MCM) in Washington, DC where my husband I are were working at the time.

“DINKs” they called us, “double income, no kids” and so completing 3 marathons in a year’s time in your twenties is not such a far-fetched idea. Upon completing that third and awe-inspiring MCM, I hung up my running shoes for a year or more to rest both body and mind. By the time I started running again along the Capitol’s mall area, it became apparent that we were about to become parents in a matter of months.

Present

After 4 pregnancies in my life, blessed with three miraculous births of our children in their own respective arrivals—a seasoned runner as myself felt it was time to run and give back a little in the process. The result became a plan to run three races in three months time.

This fall I had decided to sign up again with the local Leukemia & Lymphoma Society to raise money while I prepared with our Palm Beach Chapter team to run in the Marine Corps 10K in October.   Since I was able to run some long runs with our team members who were taking on the Marine Corps Marathon, I heard we had the Marathon of the Palm Beaches again in town after a 2-year absence and signed up for the December race. At the same time, old teammates of mine had rallied and we’d collectively decided to enter the Ragnar Relay South Beach race in November as a mini-reunion and reminder of how we’ve aged since our Division I collegiate career days.

The Marathon: A Possible Spiritual Exercise Regardless of Religion

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I have Greek blood in me and although I just completed my fourth marathon, I’m still in disbelief because although training helps to complete this distance—I’ve found that each and every time I run it I’m truly humbled to the core of my being. There are times I’ve been super prepared in my mileage tallies and pacing and other times like yesterday when I had a moderate amount of training but have also been balancing life’s responsibilities.

It’s never been a surprise to me that Greek legend holds the story of the man who ran to shout victory and promptly died upon doing so.   Maybe it’s a mathematical thing as the 26.2 mile distance may be very easy for some and for others literally the most difficult physical feat they’ve ever accomplished (save giving birth for women of course).

Yesterday I shared with some friends that my feet told me they hate me at mile 15. By mile 18 I was beginning to feel the twinges of various muscles in my legs getting ready to seize up. My fuel belt had lots of different sources of electrolytes, protein, caffeine and sugars to help me along but by mile 20 my stomach was closed for business and threatened to heave its contents if I tried to send anything besides water or some Gatorade its way. By the time I saw mile 25 I was so grateful that I hadn’t fallen down already and started to spontaneously cry with a bike support and old friend by my side asking if I was okay. The finish in sight with half a mile to go and evidently my body still had some liquid adrenaline left to send me through the finish line only to start bawling in relief that it was over.

It was a blessing to run and raise money for IOCC – International Christian Orthodox Charities during this particular race and wear my friend’s campaign material for her run for City Commissioner in West Palm Beach. I will admit that running for something or someone other than yourself does help when facing physical challenges—a reason why many former collegiate or professional athletes still enjoy their sport when supporting charities in their retirement.

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In addition, I cannot “tag” enough people or thank enough my own local family, including my mom Vanessa, my husband Thomas and kids, my sister Artemis and niece who were out there giving me water and encouragement that I never knew I would need as much as I did yesterday— support bike Cecilio not to be excluded of course or my dear Molly Ragsdale who has coached me in the past and my Newman sister Shannon Fox as they ran 13.1 at a good pace for my first half. There are people out there who will also never know how much their clap or cheering meant to many of us running that race—but thank you!

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Epilogue

I could write a page for every mile I ran yesterday but I’ll condense it into a couple of paragraphs describing what I observed and what philosophical reaction I have had to it all.

To the old friends and colleagues alike I saw, they ran or they were supportive, it all mattered so much. There were those I didn’t know but saw their sacrifice for charities, for family and friends and yet others running or racing in their wheelchairs because it celebrates life—that we’re all here together regardless of our backgrounds and what we’ve overcome in our respective lives.

When you’re a seasoned athlete in your sport, it may be daunting to continue past the age when it’s considered the “peak” season. Personally, I’ve been running in road races for over 30 years.

We learn even more about our strengths and priorities, however, when we venture into that unknown field beyond the youthful speed so plentiful with running and learn to see our accomplishments and that of our loved ones in a different light. We evolve to give ourselves and others grace.

Gratitude. I personally was grateful to finish this last marathon in one piece never mind that it was the slowest I’ve ever ran in this distance. I’ve recommended to family and friends alike that if they’re physically able they should consider trying to complete a marathon at least once in their lives—it’s a “time-out” like none other in life.

R.V.S.B.

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