Month: May 2012

iPicture This…What Does Your Child See?

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I try not to judge. I don’t know where all these moms and dads are coming from when they sit in the waiting room “watching” their kids go through their gymnastics class, play in the indoor playground facility or run around on the faux turf or mulch of the outside playgrounds.

I can’t deny what I see, however, and I am horrified at how “normal” it must seem to their children.  At least 8 out of 10 parents/caregivers have a phone attached to one of their hands.  I don’t know how it’s physically possible. Perhaps it’s superglued or stitched on. But there it is, constantly a source of engagement.

Let me make the disclaimer that I am terribly guilty of checking my own phone and taking or making calls from time to time—but I really am trying to work on doing that less as I am realizing what an unhealthy habit it is to constantly be immersed in these handheld gadgets when we are acting out the role of being an “active” parent.

I’m not the parenting expert but I want to just caution all of us (including myself) to be careful about how entrenched we become with these petty electronic iPhones, blackberries, what-have-you…remember that our children are growing up seeing that we are constantly into these things and what they see us do they will inevitably emulate.

Please also remember that these young years of our children and even when they are teenagers are fleeting and it is so very important to be all-there for them when they are around us.  Your phone will be there when they’re sleeping or not in your company.  Don’t make this phone seem more important to you than your kids–because even if you protest that of course that isn’t the case, our kids perceive that to be so when you’re not giving them your full attention even when sitting by while they play.

All the best,

R.V.S.Bean

Bathroom Rock Bottom: Mid-Year Musings

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Bathroom Rock Bottom:  Mid-Year Musings

This morning while on the floor of the bathroom trying to organize and clean out the linen closet, drawers and cabinets I wondered aloud to myself why I had waited so long to do this task.  Isn’t it the way things go for many of us? We think about doing something, whether it is practical or not, and for various reasons we delay until the stagnation of doing nothing paralyzes us.

While everything in this humble bathroom looked like a small-scale tornado had come through and strewn random bits everywhere I decided I was not going to shy away, try to put some clutter away in a drawer for another day or throw everything out.  Why can’t we try to approach even our dreams with the same sort of devotion?  If you are interested in doing something like trying to play an instrument, why not do your research, find that instrument in your hands and a way to learn it whether on your own or with others?  What is it that keeps us from growing and pursuing those things?

Limits. How do we find ourselves within limits? Was it how we grew up, what high school we attended or dropped out of? I guess there are reasonable limits like I shouldn’t just jump off the roof right now because I crave the flight I enjoy in my night dreams.  But why are we saddling ourselves down with limits that really don’t exist?

Whether your current stage in life involves children of your own, spouses, partners or any sort of combination of factors, the only real obstacle remains yourself when it comes to continuing your path of learning, loving and contributing to others.

The silly thing about this bathroom train of thought is that it came about as I was attacking a ridiculous mess that I had allowed to get out of hand because of one thing or another.  It took the crisis of having a terrible case of food poisoning the other day to make me realize that I HAD to deal with this clutter because I couldn’t locate much needed pedialyte in the bathroom closet which helped lead to becoming so dehydrated I was taken to the emergency urgent care center down the road.

We shouldn’t wait until some crisis strikes like family discord, relationship difficulties be they platonic or romantic or an unexpected upheaval at the workplace for us to pay attention to the inclinations we have for certain goals and dreams.  If we follow our spirit’s drive (for those who believe in God, you may say the Holy Spirit, YHWH, Allah or Father/Mother God, et cetera) for what we do in our life one day at a time, it will not only benefit ourselves but our loved ones and others within the “ripple-effect” distance of us.

On a lesser philosophical note, if you haven’t cleaned out your bathroom lately I highly recommend it.  Great way to fleece all those expired over-the-counter medications as well as those prescription drugs no longer needed.  For most folks, the bathroom acts as the ready room or “green room” for the start of another crazy day–it’s nice to have a bit of order to it to assist as you prepare for the battle of living and loving life.

R.V.S.Bean

SAVE THE BUTTERFLIES: Why It Matters What You Do

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SAVE THE BUTTERFLIES! : Why It Matters What You Do

INTRODUCTION: Just One of Nature’s Many Philosophy Lessons

It was another hectic day, one of those days that it seems there is no end to movement by vehicle or by foot.  As I exited off Interstate 95 I was held up at the red light and as I resigned to this unavoidable wait I looked to my left where the grassy field was alive with activity.  There were little yellow butterflies dancing in the air over the flowers that were some sort of weed by their appearance and random placement.  I chuckled to myself wondering why I was suddenly paying attention to this seemingly useless enterprise.  After a couple more moments, a lesson in life began to affect my mind as I noticed how the butterflies not only traveled in a dizzy flight to each flower, they also interacted with each other: sometimes just two, sometimes three or more and then they would go about their own business again.  How interesting that they would correspond not just to mate but to check in with each other as they went about their mundane grind to pollinate.  For more random facts by the experts: http://www.fs.fed.us/wildflowers/pollinators/animals/butterflies.shtml

DOMESTIC: Where Are We Americans?

It seems like the past 15 years or more have been filled with anxiety concerning finances and national security.  We’ve been saturated with fast-success moments like the “dot.com” burgeoning era following the launch of the World Wide Web only to have the “tech bubble” burst.  Y2K was the big talk leading up to New Year’s 2000 and then by September 11, 2001 our secular society was shocked by the actions of people that truly made no sense.  With the stock market being too uncertain, the housing market became the new bargaining tool for quick riches and today most Americans are affected one way or another by the housing market bust of the mid-Aughts.

Our political landscape has been entertaining to say the least, I have admitted more than once in my public writing that I was an employee of the former U.S. Representative Mark A. Foley.  I don’t regret it and I will always say that he was a great congressman for our Florida district 16 and his bipartisan way of working on the Hill kept me having faith in the system of government we have in place.  Nevertheless, the personal and ill-acted professional antics of many politicians have rocked the public’s conscience in the past several years.  We have triumphed in having the first biracial President of the United States that was elected in 2008.  Yet as we approach this year’s election our jaded multimedia is still focusing on subjects that are not important and petty.  It doesn’t help that we’ve also had unfortunate voting decisions like the recent one in North Carolina concerning gay marriage: really folks, it’s the year 2012 and we have kids coming out of college with degrees having extreme difficulty finding jobs they can enjoy and thrive in—in my humble opinion, whether homosexual or bisexual individuals decide to marry should literally be up to them, their families and their faiths.  I guess it’s just there’s such more critical issues for our American society to sort through like our undoubted rising debt, inflation and general lack of cohesive national strategy of what our country wants to better itself in like level of education, business direction (should we be more supportive of fair trade, environmentally friendly, innovative energy sources) and the list can go on nearly endlessly.

The butterflies reminded me that even you and I if we seem to be just the “little players” on this busy world stage, we still very much have a major effect on the flow of things in how we relate to others in our field of range.  When I go to the grocery store I do my best to engage with everyone I come in contact with-especially the cashier- you never know how that simple, genuine chat with another human being may bless the both of you.  The relationships you maintain with family and friends is an obvious example of how dynamic we can be with each other and how many times we don’t even see the true aftermath of those countless interactions.

So the economy here in America has us all repeating the same refrain: things are tough, the economy is hurting…but guess what? You do have the power to help those businesses down the road from you.  You can start your own little business with friends to follow a passion and serve a need in the demand for supply locally.  How about that person you know who makes something from hand and sells it?  What about that family restaurant that’s been on the corner forever? Truly if we all began to look at each other and pay a little more mind it would send a ripple effect through the American economy that may not send people into wealthy categories but at least encourage hearts and stoke more activity in business and progress.  As humans we crave and need each other and in America we are diverse and often decisive but we remain somewhat invincible when we really stick together UNITED.

INTERNATIONAL:  My Greece-Ellada Mou

I am not very well informed on the specifics of the political parties warring with each other in Greece at this moment as the Greek government and “powers that be” try to sort out what is the next elections plan for the country.  What I do understand is the general opinion of those in America who feel that Greece is a nation that was irresponsible in its fiscal policy and lacks direction in its own national strategy.  How very similar this sounds as the United States and many other countries around the globe are wrestling with these same issues.

Beyond the story told by video footage and photographs at Greek hotspots like Syntagma Square, it depends on who you speak with in Greece as to how violent and unruly things have become in everyday life there.  There is definitely no argument if you summed up the population as being emotionally drained and financially struggling.  What can we do?

If you’re Greek or American I think the answer is simple and powerful if everyone participates.  In Greece, this time of uncertainty and fiscal pain can be paralyzing but if could also be empowering in driving people to do something completely different.  The country is known for its tourism appeal but if you’ve gone to some of the shorelines, especially south and east of Athens, you’ll find a disgusting amount of garbage.  If there are no beach cleanups, why not start?  It would be great way to get young people involved, aware and build pride in the physical state of their nation.  When it comes to economy, why not start small with local business and build out with companies that can help provide exports like organic feta, olives and wine (a major fad in current foodies’ cycles)?  As for the Greeks abroad, we can help our mother nation by assisting friends and family in financial and emotional support. Again, the reality is even the smallest player can affect the general direction of a nation if we only start with each other, those around us whether or not we know them personally.

FINAL WORD:  Butterflies Live It Fully

There are many kinds of butterflies and they all have different average life spans: the common thread in truth is that on average their life spans are short in comparison to many other living beings and to us humans a mere blink of an eye.  The Monarch is a popular variety and in American can live from 2-6 weeks depending on their generation: http://www.fs.fed.us/wildflowers/pollinators/animals/butterflies.shtml

Either way, these half-dancing, half-flying creatures live their life to the fullest regardless of how perilous or repetitive their respective journeys.  As people we are certainly much more complex in our composition but I think we have the tendency to over-complicate in our mind.  There is a shot at true happiness in our daily life if we only engage fully every step of the way—even on those boring or ruthless days when we wonder how we’ll make it to the end of the day.

The light turned green and I was on my way again to the next task, the next unexpected “checking-in” with whoever came in my path as I fulfilled my personal “flight”.

R.V.S.Bean