Month: February 2010

Personal Reflection: Politics and Poisonous Speech

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In my life I have had the honor of working in the U.S. Congress as a legislative aide and in a Presidential Administration as a humble political appointee.  During those ‘working bee’ years, I came to understand how our nation’s legislation is written, enacted and executed.  Admittedly, I came in pretty ignorant…I actually kept a book at my desk that broke down what we all should have learned in our Social Studies/Government Civics classes in grammar school.  Alas, nothing is a better education than being immersed in the daily grind of it all, down to the most mundane amendments written for bills on the House Floor.

However, my personal work experience in DC Beltway politics also served to affect me in a negative way.  One of my bosses went down in an ill-gotten scandal and although I already had garnered a jaded chip on my shoulder about politicians on both sides of the aisle–this one was pretty jolting.

My first inclination was to walk away altogether from politics for a while, but I did enjoy carrying out and interacting with ‘the people’ that have the power to elect and vote out these lawmakers.  Thus, when opportunity knocked to become a political appointee and work at the U.S. Department of Treasury, I leapt into it.

I can truly say that my post at Treasury was the hardest I had ever worked in an office environment in my career so far.  The people I met and worked with were among the highest caliber and yet I also came in contact with some who were so power-hungry and obsessed with subjects not necessarily in our nation’s best interests.  My political and bureaucratic education was once more expanded and it was extremely difficult to avoid becoming disillusioned further–again, both political parties to blame, neither better than the other.

Is the answer to abolish our heavily two-party system?  No offense to Independents, Libertarians, Green Party and so forth, but the Democrats and Republicans do have the most members and money of all our other political parties in this country.

Although the speeches between the politicians, the pundits and even the public has become so poisonous at times, I cannot believe that getting rid of the balance of powers would ever work for our nation.  Just as I can debate with my husband, my family, my friends and even strangers, I think it makes me a better person and perhaps more open to other ideas than just my self-formulated ones.

Many recent politicians, even our current President, have attempted to deliver a new way, a “hope for change” if you will.  Please understand that sort of promise in action is challenging in the present political halls of power.  Having worked with others who believe in compromising and working things out for the best of our people’s interests, even those persons in powerful positions have run and still run into the wall of “the way thing are”.

Having said all of this, I still firmly believe that our system of checks and balances in our government is the best for our time in our nation.  Another solution to consider is personal responsibility for everyone involved: the voting public, the worker bees in government, the lawmakers and elected officials.  Just as if we all simply let someone pass in front of us while we drive on the road this week, everyone would enjoy driving much more than the common ‘road rage’ many of us endure daily–we should consider that if everyone did their active part for our nation’s local and federal governments, there would be less griping about ‘the system’ because the system simply deconstructed is designed for “the People, by the People.”

Note:  A trip to Epcot with my son and a close friend yesterday yielded this thought tangent after viewing the Presidential show in the United States section–random but true:-)

RVSB

Our children and networking websites: a glimpse of the future

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Yesterday I walked into my local U.S. Post Office with my son T.A. in my arms while balancing the 4 small packages I was endeavoring to send off Priority Mail style.  Which, by the way, kudos to our USPS for putting these self-service kiosks in along with standard mail supplies so people like parents of small children can get stuff done without necessarily waiting in that long, winding line in the main area.

I set my son on one of the work tables and held him with one arm as I addressed and sealed my packages with my free hand.  All the while I am feeling proud of myself for getting this minor task done without a meltdown or acting-out by my 21 month old. 

My happy-go-lucky soundtrack in my mind is suddenly shattered by the one-way conversation I overheard as a lady walks up talking on her cell phone.  “Well, you know they are going to ask us soon enough to have a Facebook account as they’ll be 10 and 11 years old soon, and well we will have to deal with it but yeah, there is just so much danger with these things that they don’t realize…”

If she said anything further I didn’t hear the words,  had already tuned the lady out as I begin to dwell on the idea of my child wanting to have his own link to a networking site one day when he is an adolescent, a bulging teenager.  The very thought jarred me completely, I was weighed down by the realization that the challenges continue to get more complicated as our beloved children grow.

My son argues with me nowadays with grunts and wordless syllables that can most easily be pacified by a food treat or changing the subject.  What will it be like when he is going back and forth with me in long sentence diatribes about how unfair I am to keep him from connecting to the internet unfettered.

Is it so far-fetched of me to think that allowing kids to log on to the internet with no supervision is much worse than letting them drive cars at 16 years old?  Why do we as parents feel that we must accept computers and the internet as the new norm for our children? 

Maybe I’m just a dinosaur when it comes to technology, but I just don’t think that developing bodies and minds should become so dependent on them.  Should they know how to use them–of course!  Should they use the internet for all their research projects?  I truly believe the answer should be no but am willing to permit perhaps 25% from that source.  It’s not helpful to guide the next generation to get all their answers to life and interactions in friendship and love through these silly keyboards and mouse clickers.

I know some of you may be angered by my opinion and it is understandable if your knee-jerk reaction is to say, “Oh yeah? Just you wait until you have to deal with this issue from your child.”  But I also know that we as parents can stick to what we believe is right for our children. 

For instance, my husband and I agreed that it was important to us that we avoid having our son watch commercial TV prior to me giving birth to him.  21 months later and I can honestly say that we have succeeded with a couple concessions, in the last few months we have allowed him to see us watching our Alma Mater college football games and we started a couple bilingual videos that he watches every other day and sometimes daily.  We also had to cut back our own viewing of TV in order to accomplish this and feel we have benefited from it as well.

It’s by no means easy to be a parent, especially in the 21st century when technology can be a useful tool and yet also a divisive instrument that can alienate families in their own home (picture family evening with dad with blackberry, child with Ipod, child with laptop, mom with cell phone texting, etc).

Ultimately, you make the choice as to what’s appropriate whether it be to allow a Facebook page for your son or daughter–I hope for you it is the choice that makes you feel at peace as you raise your child(ren).

RSVB

Cleaning Products: It’s Not Just About the Environment Anymore

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As I approach my tenth wedding anniversary this summer, I can laugh at the evolution of my cleaning product entourage.  We tend to follow in the footsteps of our parents shortly after our departure to college or post-high school living-on-our-own.

If you have ever watched “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”, you may appreciate the fact that there those of us that grew up with Windex being the product of choice–even if for some crazy things like a cut on your finger or dusting the houseplants (I don’t personally recommend any of those, but I did get much mileage out of experimenting with the product as a child on many objects).

Windex, Bleach and Comet…that was it in my childhood. Very simple and in my college days I stuck to Windex out of cost savings and preference for the simple spray bottle.

Fast forward to now and I have tried most cleaning products out there at least once.  I remember having picked up Murphy’s Oil Wood Cleaner for kicks and feeling so sophisticated.

Then a few years ago I received news that I was pregnant and suddenly I started to pay close mind to what cleaning products I was inhaling inadvertently during my intense cleaning modes.

Before I really did any research I automatically began to cut back on the amount of cleaners I was using.  And yes, I returned to Windex as my tried and true product of choice.  I also tried to limit use of antibacterial gels and switched my dishwashing liquid to just plain Palmolive.

As I delved deeper to try to find out what I should avoid during my pregnancy in ’07-’08, I found more information about what I should stick to.  Turns out that most of our cleaning products on the supermarket shelf start with a basic recipe that we can concoct ourselves if we have basic items like baking soda and vinegar.  I remember my mother telling me as a teenager that a quick way I could clean my silver jewelry was to make a paste out of baking soda and water…in my cheap collegiate days, I went on to desperately use toothpaste a few times to do the same thing that somehow worked well.

Perhaps we are caught up in the era of convenience we live in where anything we want can be found at a store in-person or online, but it is possible lessen our dependence on receiving instant gratification.  Moreover, maybe by deconstructing what our cleaning products are made of, we may find that we can put together more simple homemade products that are not only less damaging to the Earth’s biochemistry but also more safe and healthy for ourselves.

As cancer has become an ever constant word in our vocabulary and unfortunately for family and friends a reality to battle, there are doctors, scientists and regular folks that are asking is there something we can do better to help our bodies not be so vulnerable.  Besides altering our diets (another blog post, another time), it has been speculated and studies are being conducted on the effect of exposure to cleaning chemical agents over a prolonged amount of time.

As with anything we use on a daily or hopefully weekly basis, the choice will ultimately be yours on how to clean your home.  I have come to a peace that I will do my best to choose Earth-friendly products, however, that doesn’t mean I have to buy the pricey Whole Foods grade items either–unless I want to (ah, the freedom we have as consumers in America for better or worse).

Yet, I do admit that the Earth’s ecology is not the only factor in my cleaning product choices and not even the major one.  I now do sense that we may be overloading our complex bodies with too much synthetics that occasionally may not cause harm, but over time may very well be creating havoc with our enzymes and overall functionality of our human organism beings.

Note:  Google may be your guide or your parents, friends, et cetera.  Here are a couple of sites if you only have a moment to indulge that I found to be fun and helpful:  www.thegoodhuman.com , www.care2.com, www.modernmermaids.com

RVSB

Capturing the Moment…Present to be Exact

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Is this not the ever-constant battle for us human souls on this Earth?  How can we truly be empowered in the mystery of being joyful in the present moment?

No matter if you’re a parent or single without children, we all struggle with our individual obsessions with what has occurred in the past and what we hope to see in the future.  All the while, we procrastinate the potential of the present.  We are utterly paralyzed with our anxious aftermaths and our frantic desires for what lies ahead.

It suddenly struck me today as I randomly decided to follow my son onto the trampoline at a playground (as you may pick up in future posts, my little guy LOVES activity, thank God for playgrounds of all shapes and sizes).  So I approached him and begin to mimic his enthusiasm and physical  tenacity on this trampoline.  Would you believe I actually began to enjoy myself?  No longer was I just a mom, I was like a kid going bonkers on a trampoline and laughing with my joy of joys son T.A.

It was further confirmed to me that I had radically changed in that hour’s time as another boy, about 4 years old I’d venture, asked me if I’d play with him on a puzzle. “Does he think I work here?” I thought.  Then after I answered him that sure my “son and I” can help you work on a puzzle, he followed up with a speech-halting, “Where is your mommy?”  Turns out his grandmother was on the other end of the playground and somehow his young mind thought that I was either a kid or child worker of this playground….wow, I really must look like I’m having fun, and truth be told I was having a blast.

As I watched my son drink up the moments of pure, innocent fun running around, jumping and doing whatever fun activity this place offered, I wondered:  Why are we as parents always so weighed down?  Is it guilt?  Is it a feeling of inadequacy?  The euphoria I felt just playing with my child was so wonderful, I can look back on this day and know it was a success…even if I didn’t get to file my taxes yet or organize the sham of a bedroom my family resides in currently.

It is so important to try to focus on this very moment, even as you read my words, just remember, we are the most effective and the most alive in the present…the past in this earthen plane is already written and though the future may have its predictions, it is no guarantee…but nothing and no one can steal this moment from us, I hope you can capture it wherever you are at in your life.

RVSB

Boomerang Babies Survival Tips…

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Some of you may know what the latest title of being a “Boomerang kid” means.  Many of us who were born in the late 1970s and early 1980s have recently landed facedown into the mud that is called “Moving Back in with the Parent(s)”. I like to think of us as the “Boomerang Babies” generation, a weak comeback to the ever-suffering and complaining “Baby Boomers”.

For reference purposes, I have selected Oxford University Press’ definition of the word found on their website http://www.oup.com :  boomerang kid (also 'boomerang child) noun an adult child who returns home to live with his or her parents after being away for some time: With the country in tough economic times, more young American adults, over age 18, are returning to the family nest.

The reason(s) for this influx of Boomerang babies can be anything from mismanaged credit card debt, a blown-up relationship, loss of job, lack of employment opportunities or upside-down mortgages.

In my husband and I’s case, about a year ago we moved back to my home state after the loss of his job in a political environment that had changed and the recent birth of our son.  Given the unfortunate job and housing market, both of which we were hard hit in, we decided it would be better to try to figure things out in a familiar environment with family on both sides near.

It seemed a good idea at the time:  move into my mother’s house, weather the storm of uncertainty until my husband could find work. Six months later, thankfully new job in hand for my husband but still reeling from draining our savings and retirement–we couldn’t move out on our own yet.  However, we’d exhausted our stay at my mother’s since our son was approaching toddler-time and was systematically taking apart her un-childproofed home, so we moved in with my grandparent-in-laws: what were we thinking?

We were following the logic that most of us Boomerang Babies are slapped with when the bills start pouring in and we realize that we cannot afford our lifestyles on our own.  How rude of a letdown. We’re not talking about shattered dreams here.  We’re raised to go fly on our own and we end up trying to take off with clipped wings. Thank you dot.com bubble burst. Thank you 9-11 terrorists.  Thank you real estate boom and KA-BOOM.  Thank you TARP bill.

Here are some Boomerang Babies survival tips that I hope you find at least amusing if not helpful, the order of tips is not important:

  • Make a hopeful list of “unbudgeables”, in short, what do you want in your new post-Boomerang phase of life in your much-fantasized own home that you will not budge on? For example: I must have the pots and pans hanging from the ceiling in my own kitchen one day.
  • When parent/family member who owns the home you are staying in approaches you with a request like, “Can you please make sure to return the magazines in their proper order on the coffee table?”, smile sweetly and happily concede to them while doing your best not to show exasperation in your face for fielding over a dozen of these command/requests daily from them.
  • Remember: This is not your home, these are their rules that you must follow while under their roof–proof of your adult age doesn’t matter one iota, neither does having a demanding infant(s).
  • You pay for your stay in your family’s home one way or another: try to select that payback by offering to pay the electric bill or for groceries…otherwise you’ll be blindsided by annoying side expenses left and right–some of which could include infuriating indulgences for your said family member.
  • Just think to yourself: You will NEVER take having your own place for granted again, at least in this lifetime.
  • Do something kind for your family member every week, like bringing flowers home to your mom or picking up a six-pack for your dad: whatever little pleasures they enjoy, doing so for them will soften you from being too harsh when faced with the humbling effect of having to live with them again as an adult.
  • Read some historical novels, especially if you are out of work and have free time on your hands.  Cost shouldn’t be an issue as public libraries do still exist and even some free books are available online.  These historical novels should include story lines that will remind you that this boomerang phase was how most families lived back in the day–sometimes three generations residing under one roof.
  • You are blessed: I don’t care if you an atheist, you are blessed to have a home to stay in, people who love you enough to take you in irregardless of how you got in this position. This is a hard fact to remember when facedown in the humiliation of this boomerang moment in your life, but try.
  • To lighten the mood on those dark days, just think of the “Annie” song, “It’s a hard knock life for us…”
  • If TV watching is a scheduling hassle in the household, try to rely on sites like www.hulu.com for your sitcoms fix.
  • If no internet service, try local library, coffee shop or Kmart for your logon needs.
  • Try to take pre-emptive action in household chores: the more like a Cinderella you act, the less nagging you’ll weather…trust me on this one.
  • Take up a low-cost, old or new hobby. It will help you to do something that is exclusively yours as you are now living in an environment that is NOT your own.
  • Recall the 1980s feel-good theme song: “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”.
  • Write your friends, don’t just Facebook or text them, actually take a pen and write freehand on a piece of paper or in a card…it is good to send them a personal note as if you are writing from a war battlefield far away called Your Pride.
  • Exercise.  It does a body, mind and heart good.  The soul benefits as well.
  • Consider blogging, I’ve resisted the notion for nearly a year now, but I’m glad to be sharing with the cyberworld now.

We are still living the gypsy life as I prefer to call it.  If you trace back to the ancient days, nomadic living was the norm.  Perhaps I should just take it a day at a time and in the meantime focus on the things that are most important: my relationship with my Maker, my husband, my son, my family and friends…these are not material things as a dwelling is, these are entities, loves and souls–eternal things not restrained by seasons of life like being a Boomerang Baby.

RVSB

Introductory Inclinations…

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A Mom's Solitary Moment: Harvest Moon October 2009

My husband has once again acted the muse to my literary desires: I am attempting to relaunch a blog site via www.WordPress.com My intentions in this matter are part selfish and part wanting to share with others what a 21st century homemaker encounters and accomplishes.  There are so many complications and outright adventures to being what I personally regard as CEO of the Home.  

The epiphany moment to finally start posting to the blogosphere came just yesterday when I found myself facedown in a foam pit at Palm Beach Gardens’ A Latte Fun indoor playground with my son T.A .  I was straining to hear my lost cellphone’s ring with crazy kiddy music and dozens of children aged 6 years and younger squealing in the background.  Suddenly a little girl came down the slide and landed squarely on my neck, her mother simultaneously chiding her and asking me if I’m okay.   Still no phone to be found, I had to resign and wait until closing time when my dear husband made his way there to help the gracious employees empty half the pit to reveal my forlorn technology device linking me with the rest of the world as I know my friends and family.

I hope you can find laughter here.  Also, perhaps gather some pointers in the merchant business as you shop for yourself and others.  Find fun website links that I recommend as you plan things for you and your family or sharing with your loved ones who are also in the wonderful season of life that is ‘raising a family’.  This site is not meant to judge anyone especially if you are a parent who works multiple jobs…I already personally categorize being a parent as a full-time, on-call 24/7 career with no retirement package but the yielding of unconditional love that is priceless.  So if you work beyond that in an office, another field, et cetera, then I respect that even more than simply being CEO of the Home and I truly wish to be helpful with the information in this site as you are constantly pressed for time. 

As a Renaissance woman, I want to share my mini-discoveries and latest tidbits from my personal research that may assist parents in their own paths whether it be secular or spiritual.  Subjects ranging from what are good foods to feed your family to where is the best reading hour locally on the weekends.

Finally, I disclose the fact that I am a first generation Greek-American, proud University of Florida Gator Alumni and an Orthodox Christian with an open mind and heart.  

Thank you for your readership and patience as this site grows and evolves.  By all means, feel free to share the link to my site with anyone you think could benefit from and enjoy its contents.  As always, I am a writer that is open to constructive criticism or unsolicited advice.

 RVSB